Page 123 of Rise & Fall
I hear Nolan’s breathing and I can practically feel his heart beating through the seats of his truck.
I feel his touch against my skin, caressing my cheek as the backs of his knuckles run along my jawline.
“Dakota,” his rough whisper sends pebbles of pleasure pin pricking my spine, but I need to finish what I wanted to say.
“I just know that my dad would approve of you if he were here to see us together. And I don’t wish to cause you pain for something you’ve already dealt with.” I draw in a lungful. “You shouldn’t be afraid of falling. Everyone falls. It means that you’re trying and there’s only one way to go from there. But you also can’t be afraid to rise—” Nolan cuts me off.
“Because not everyone can do that.”
I gasp when I feel his lips touch mine after he speaks his last words, repeating exactly what my dad would say to me as a girl.
That’s how I know my dad would be proud, he would approve. It’s what plunges my heart even deeper into the pool of love I’ve melted into when looking at Nolan and how hurt he was by all this.
It’s how I know this was meant to be.
His kiss is warm against my cold lips, sparking fireworks as his hands reach for both sides of my face. He pulls away just enough for me to open my eyes and find him searching mine, looking for the okay to kick the car into gear and head home.
“Please,” I whisper against his lips, and he smiles before kissing me one more time.
He drives back toward his apartment, racing against the clock of our hearts because, really, physical time doesn’t matter when you’re with someone you care about. But when you feel the explosion of truly admitting you love someone, there’s an urgency to being in that person’s arms and exploring that connection a bit further. I don’t need to hear him say it.
I feel it slightly in his touch, his stare, his tone. That’s the great thing about love; it can be seen and heard in more than one way. When I look over to Nolan, he confirms it with a different set of three words. And the meaning of them is loud and clear, coating my heart in a soft layer of hope and devotion.
“I’ve got you.”
thirty-nine
Dakota
IrememberthefeelingI had when Asher told me he loved me. It was kind of something on the cusp of internal shock but also of forced conviction—like he had to make himself believe what he was saying, and in the midst of me being blindsided, I also forced myself to believe. We only dated for about half a year, and after another six months we were on and off. I thought to myself that if we kept going back to each other then, maybe it was meant to be, so I told him I loved him too.
After spending all day every day with someone, you kind of feel like you owe it to yourselves to explore that feeling. I guess it’s difficult to match when you don’t have anything to compare it to. And given my state of mind—tomorrow is never promised so might as well try to walk the line of living that ideal dream life—I never really gave myself a chance to explore that feeling with him, to decipher true love from only wanting to feel it, so forcing it on the person you’re with.
I just wanted to make my dad proud. He never lived a day regretting his actions or words, and he built an incredible family and owned his own business and laughed bigger than anyone I knew. He also loved more than anyone I knew. Which is probably why it was hard for me to imagine my mom with anyone else. But sometimes, your first love isn’t always your only or last love. And sometimes, your first love might not even truly be your first love.
I hate knowing that I wasted nearly six years of my life on someone who never really deserved me. I spent so much time in a relationship where the idea of love was forced and somewhat comfortable, so it’s what I stuck with because I was scared I’d die alone, not so much as even accomplishing half of what my father did.
But as I watch the man in front of me lay me down on his bed with the gentlest touch I’ve ever known all while claiming my soul with his possessive stare, I know that this is where I was always meant to end up.
“You with me, Firefly?” he asks, pulling a pillow under my head.
I give him a sultry nod, bringing myself back to reality, which is also in tandem with my dreamworld, as he works the buttons of my jeans through the loop and slides them down. I lift my hips to assist and once they’re off, he tosses them on the floor with not so much as a modicum of grace.
His gaze is heated and needy, never breaking eye contact as he leans at the edge of his bed and pulls my leg upward to feather soft kisses along the inside of my thigh.
“I can see you’re overthinking over there, Dakota. That’s not normally like you.” His tone is laced with desire and sincerity, kissing me down to my ankle as he watches me for a reaction.
Currently, my vision is blurring as I allow that one big scary thing to spread over my body like a tsunami. He leans back, dropping my leg gently, and removes his shirt. I gasp seeing his perfectly tanned skin underneath all of the colorful tattoos he hides. He’s a masterpiece in the spotlight and I soak in the sight of him before I find a way to answer his question.
“It’s nothing really. I was just thinking about the past and my life and the choices I made and—” Nolan takes my next words by yanking me down by my ankles till my ass is on the edge of the bed.
He leans over me and brings his mouth down on mine, stealing my breath and any coherent thought I had managed to form as he kisses me with the most feverish kiss.
“Forget about the past, baby girl.” He pulls away for a minute, using his fingers to brush loose strands of my hair off my face. His eyes connect with mine and there’s impassioned whispers in the way he looks at me. Soft vows of love lace his dark brown irises.
“Anyone who didn’t see how lucky they were to have you in their life is an idiot. And I’m going to show you just how grateful I am for you for as long as you’ll let me.” He leans back down and settles himself in the curve of my shoulder, pressing sweet, heated kisses up to my ear lobe, and my lusty sigh lets him know that I will surrender to the power he’s got over me. I will forever give up control to this man as long as he keeps taking care of me in this affectionate and doting way.
“Let me fix it. I will always be there to put you back together,” he whispers into my skin. Every nerve ending in my body ignites like the flare of a sparkler, blazing through my veins in a rapid wave of heat.