Page 125 of Rise & Fall
That moment was an exciting one but it also meant this was about to get very real. We still hadn’t discussed how we were going to bring it up to Jessica. Not that I really care to, it’s none of her business what goes on in my personal life, but Dakota feels that it’s necessary because of the small friendship they started, and she doesn’t want there to be any misunderstandings or missed opportunities.
She told me the other day about how awkward it’s been trying not to avoid Jessica, or Barbie as she still calls her, but she doesn’t want to talk to her too much because she feels like she’s lying to her. They’ve passed each other at work a handful of times and each time Jess wants to stop and talk about God knows what girls talk about but I can see it weighs heavily on Dakota knowing she can’t truly be herself, and that’s not how I want my firefly to feel.
So I told her that we can sit down tonight after I get off work. I made sure Jessica wasn’t working tonight, and I got Mitch to watch Aria. Dakota said she’d meet me shortly after.
“Thank you for taking on Aria tonight. I should be back before seven to get her,” I mention to him as he catches up to me, taking supplies out of my hands and staking it down on the dirt lot we’re standing on.
“She can stay the night so you don’t have to rush. It’s Saturday tomorrow, and you know Carrie loves when the kids get to spend time together.” I smile at his words, imagining Aria playing with other kids. She doesn’t know about her unborn sibling. No one does yet, other than Dex most likely, but Dakota asked me to keep it between us for a while just because she wants to soak it in before she tells the rest of the world.
So right now, her pregnancy is our secret.
“I’ll let you know. I don’t see why that would be a problem, but I think Jessica is planning on taking off soon and I wanted to offer her the time with Aria first.” I clip my utility belt around my waist ready to start working on this new project.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Mitch says to me as he joins me.
We both walk around to where the cement truck is pouring a bed of cement down for the base of the home. Josh rounds the corner to make sure everything is going to plan as a good foreman should do, and then he meets up with some of the others to help assist in their jobs.
We’re halfway to May so the Charlotte sun is beaming brightly in the sky as my men work on this secret project I’m funding; grateful that I have the means and the ability to make this happen.
I can’t wait to show her what I’m doing for her.
Jessica sits at my table with her legs crossed and her eyes on alert. I can tell she knows that something is up because I’ve never once invited her over to my apartment to talk about anything, for one, and I’m not really sure how to start this conversation, for two. So I’m sure she’s confused as to why I’m just standing by my kitchen island staring at her rather than talking.
“Nolan, what’s going on?” she asks, slicing the air with her pointed question.
“Well, I obviously need to talk to you about something. But I’ll be honest, Jessica. I don’t really think I need or want to have this conversation with you. But she insisted it was the right thing to do, so here we are.” I lean into the counter of the island, feeling a small weight lift off my shoulders knowing that I started the dreaded conversation.
“Who’s she?” Her eyebrows raise into the creases of her forehead.
“Dakota,” I reply.
“Who the fuck is Dakota?” she questions, and at first, I think of how ignorant she’s being and how annoyed I am for Dakota because if this is what she calls a “friend” then I’d be a bit wary. Then I remember that their boss only calls them by nicknames.
“Listen,” I continue, deciding not to clarify who I’m talking about just yet, “I want you to know that I’m happy you figured out what you want to do with your life and that you’re making decisions to better your future, not just for you but for Aria too.” I cross my arms at my chest as I watch her look down to the ground and then back up at me.
“Get to the point, please.”
“Right. Well, I’ve also found something, or more so someone, that makes me happy. And well, I’m seeing someone. I’ve been seeing her for a little bit now. And it’s serious. We just thought it was right to let you know because—” I’m interrupted when there’s a knock at the door and Jessica twists her head to the sound.
“What’s going on, Nolan?” she asks again, and I sigh a deep sigh of relief while walking to go open the door. I hear the chair scrape against the floor as Jessica pushes it back to stand up.
I reach for the doorknob, but before I can turn it, Jessica’s hand is hovering over mine to stop me.
“Nolan, I love you. I always will. And I’m sorry for the way I treated you and disrespected our little family. I was immature and I didn’t think I did anything wrong until you left me, and I had to figure it all out for myself.” My breathing is quiet as I listen to her plead her case, knowing that I’m over it all, but she deserves to have herself be heard.
“I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me. So I hope that whoever she is, she does that for you.” Jessica removes her hand and takes a step back.
I feel something settle in the air, maybe it’s relief or maybe even the deflation of guilt. Though I don’t know what I’d feel guilty for. I never cheated on this woman; I gave her everything she ever wanted. Maybe it’s the feeling of knowing that you were never right for each other, but you tried anyway. Maybe it’s the feeling of putting yourself first but you feel bad because you know you hurt someone in the process, despite the pain they caused. Maybe it’s because I know that Jessica wanted to be my forever, but she’s about to meet the girl who truly does make me the happiest.
I turn back to the door and twist the knob. I open the door so that only I can see Dakota for this moment, just for a second. I can tell she’s nervous, this means more to her than it does to me only because I don’t feel the need to share my business with my ex and if this were anyone else, it wouldn’t be an issue. But because it’s Dakota and she sought friendship with this girl, her heart is begging her to do the right thing and I will always support anything she wants to do.
“I love you,” I mouth to her, and she smiles at me with a glimmer of relief in her eyes. I slide the door open all the way to allow her to walk in, and as Dakota steps beside me, I notice that Jessica has her back to us now, so I take the opportunity to settle some nervousness I can tell Dakota is battling by pressing a soft and quiet kiss to her temple.
“Jessica, this is Dakota. My girlfriend,” I announce and Jessica, dramatic as she is, turns around so that her blonde hair sways in the non-existent breeze.
Her eyes grow wide after looking at me, then looking down at Dakota.
“Wait, you’re dating Red?” Jessica’s tone is hesitant as she tries to take in the news.