Page 74 of Rise & Fall

I hear my phone buzz beside me, vibrating on the table. I sign in annoyance when I see that it’s Jessica. It’s eight in the morning and I really don’t want to start my day with whatever drama she’s looking to start.

“Hello?” I answer reluctantly, trying not to sound the way I’m feeling.

“Hey, I heard what happened. Are you okay?” Her tone is concerned and sincere. But I don’t want it to be, and I would also like to know who the hell sheheardanything from and why it matters to her.

Then it comes to me…Mitch.It was probably Mitch, that bastard.

“I’m fine, Jess. You didn’t need to call and ask,” I state, wanting to make our boundaries very clear, as if I haven’t already. If I’m going to be in anything remotely close to a serious relationship with Dakota, I need to make sure she trusts me around my ex, just like I do around hers. Not that he’ll be in the picture ever again.

Immediately, I think back to that night with her ex. How perfect she looked, sleepy and shy as she opened the door, waiting for me to judge her. But that judgment never came, at least not from me. She didn’t want to hurt anyone—she’s not that kind of girl—but I wanted her to know that she doesn’t have to face these things alone. That I trust her. And I also had no problems making her ex aware of who she belonged to.

As righteous as that may sound.

I want her as mine, so I claimed her asmine.

I may have felt ashamed of it at first, realizing that I didn’t really have the right to claim her that way. She is a grown, independent woman and I didn’t want it to seem like she needed anybody to stand up for her in order for her ex to see that she was unavailable tohim. But I couldn’t help but take it into my own hands and let her know that she was also unavailable toanyone.

For so long I’ve deprived myself of my wants because I simply thought I had to focus on work and my little girl to move along in my life. Thinking that I never wanted to be in a situation like I was with Jessica ever again, I batted away the idea that I might need something more to feel satisfied. I love my job and I love Aria.

But just because my ex and I didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that I can’t be happy with someone else. It doesn’t mean that I can’t also put my feelings first and still focus on the two most important things in my life.

What if I want to add one more important thing?

I enjoy my time with Dakota. She makes me feel like I can be myself and despite our age difference…she is mature as hell and keeps me on my toes. But what I enjoy more than anything is the effort that she puts into everything she does. She’s passionate about life and I crave that about her.

Nothing is ever easy when it comes to figuring out what’s right and what’s wrong, but what makes it worth it is that you have someone to share the ups and downs with. Someone who will make you laugh when you’re down or make your days a little brighter when there’s a storm knocking at your door. I know it’s cheesy and cliche, but it’s what my mom used to always say to my brother and I when we were little.

“Gees. Sorry for checking in on my daughter’s father, Nolan. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jessica’s words hit me in the chest, feeling like I’ve lost my balance all over again, falling from the sky and knocking the wind out of me. Because as condescending as her tone is, she’s right…Iamher daughter’s father and whether I like it or not, she kind of does have a reason to call and check in.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Just don’t tell Aria anything, though. We don’t need to worry her and I’m fine.” I take a deep breath before settling in my bed, the bruising on my back hurts more than anything.

And just like magic, my girl knocks on my door.

“Hey.” She appears with two paper cups of what I hope to God is coffee, looking like a fucking dream crossing the threshold of my nightmare.

“Jessica, I have to go. Call you back later?” I don’t even hesitate to know that all my attention needs to be on Dakota right now, though I hate that she has to see me like this.

“Wait, I wanted to see if we can sit down for dinner tonight? I really need to talk to you about something important and I really don’t think it can wait,” she asks quickly, hoping I wouldn’t hang up before she got to ask.

I don’t want to sit down and do anything with her. I really don’t, especially without asking further about this so-calledsomething important. But I opt to give her a chance, having to settle with taking a risk so that I can get her off the phone.

“Yeah, just text me when,” I say before clicking the call dead.

I notice Dakota’s smile falters a bit, and it hurts me to see her question what I was doing on the phone with my ex.

“She has something she wants to talk about but I promise you, you have nothing to worry about,” I tell her and wave her in.

Damn is she fucking attractive. And it’s not even really about her physical appearance that I find so appealing about her but just her being in the same room as her makes me feel fucking strange…in a good way.

She’s wearing a fucking skirt, Jesus Christ, I love her in dresses and skirts. This one is short, just to her knees, and black, and she’s got a white Pokémon shirt—Aria would lose her shit—layered on top and tied in the front giving me just enough of a view of her belly button; I amalsogoing to lose my shit.

Her hair is tied up into a messy bun, the way I like it most, and her smile is the best fucking part of everything she wears. It’s dainty and alluring, the way her lips curl up and pucker slightly, showing off the perfect little gap between her top and bottom lips.

“I didn’t say anything,” she says, interrupting my mental analysis, as she moves forward and reaches to hand me the cup of coffee.

“Yeah, but your face did.” I tease her.

“Stupid face.” We both snicker a little.