Page 14 of The Surrogate Nanny
Anthony’s brows furrowed slightly. “Ms. Livingston—”
“Powell v Livingston? The judge has reached her verdict.”
I left the bench without further provocation. The only thing I wanted to hear from Anthony was that I could remain a fixture in Nori’s life. Anything else was irrelevant.
***
“The contract was clear,” Judge Wallen said.
My stomach bottomed out.
No...no, this can’t be happening.
“Your honor—”
She held up a hand. “I’m sorry, Ms. Livingston, but I must uphold the law. You signed a legally binding contract. You don’t hold any legal rights to the child.”
I swallowed roughly, and my eyes darted down to Nori, who bobbed up and down on the bench, unaware that our time together had ended.
Maybe I can leave the country with her.
“With that being said, I am awarding Mr. Powell full custody...effective immediately.”
“Immediately?” I whispered. The word suddenly became foreign to me. “Wait, I haven’t even—”
Before I knew it, the bailiff wrestled Nori out of my arms. Nori’s face scrunched up, and she wailed in the officer’s arms.
“P-please, she doesn’t like strangers. Just let me hold her, please!” I screamed as my daughter reached for me. I told myself I’d keep my composure if things went south on the way to the courthouse, but all that went out the window as soon as Judge Wallen’s gavel ricocheted. My tears fell despite myself. The bailiff handed Nori to Anthony, but her eyes remained on me. We reached for each other, but there was so much distance between us. Another officer held me back, not allowing me to touch or soothe her, even for a moment.
It’s not right! She doesn’t know Anthony! How can they do this to me?
Anthony stood solemnly with my baby in his arms, ignoring her desperate wriggling to get to me. He limped away without sparing me a passing glance.
“Don’t do this to me! Forget about me! Don’t do this to Nori! It’s cruel!” I yelled after his retreating form.
“Please, try to calm down, ma’am,” the officer murmured as he restrained me. The echo of her cries faded the further she slipped away.
They’re gone.
My knees banged against the cool floor. I stared at my reflection in the gleaming tile. I saw nothing but lifeless eyes. I didn’t react when the judge touched my shoulder gently. It warmed with apologies and compassion, but where was her compassion when I fought for my daughter? Realistically, I couldn’t be angry with her—the law was the law, and right was right. It just...sucked.
“Ms. Livingston, everything will be okay,” she cooed.
“Nothing will ever be okay,” I whispered, wiping away my tears.
“Is there someone I can call for you?”
I looked up at her with bleary eyes and shook my head. “Nori is—was the only thing I had.”
***
My baby is gone. I’ve lost her, but she isn’t dead. She still exists. I just...can never see or hold her again. It’s true. Every moment with your child is precious. Life is unpredictable—here today, gone tomorrow.
Where do I go? Home? Back to the place with her nursery and a reminder of her first dentist appointment on the refrigerator? Somewhere else? A place where a memory of her doesn’t exist?
I checked the time on my phone, but my lock screen was of her. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and questioned if I should remove it. The constant reminder of the love lost would be torture.
“Ma’am, you have to leave. We’re locking the courthouse for the evening,” I heard from a gruff voice above me.