Page 23 of Skye
“Yeah.”
“That why you’re avoiding the girl and the rest of us?”
I snap my gaze to him. “I’m not avoiding anyone.”
“Ain’t you?” He snorts. “I see your worry, Rage.”
I hate how in my head he is. I always thought I was good at hiding my feelings, but with Hawk, he seems to strip all that back and leave me raw and bleeding. “I’m not worried about anything.”
“Bollocks. You’d be fuckin’ stupid not to be, but if the girl’s clean, the club’ll welcome her.”
“She is clean,” I say without skipping a beat.
“Let’s hope so.”
Neither of us speak for a moment, but questions burn through me that I need to answer. “How did you… how did you know how to be a dad?”
Hawk laughs. “I don’t know, kid. That shit was just there for me. I love Wren’s babies like they’re my own, and you’ll feel that the moment you see your child. When the Pioneers attacked us when we were in hiding, I was so fuckin’ scared for those kids and Wren. All you gotta do is your best, Rage. Show up, be there, and the rest’ll come.”
He makes it sound so easy, though I know it’s not. “I don’t think it’s gonna come like that for me.”
“I think you’ll be surprised.”
“My dad…” I break off, the words sticking in my throat like glass shards.
“Your dad what?”
“He was… sick.” Hawk doesn’t ask what that means. He waits for me to continue speaking, and although I don’t want to, I need to know if I can escape the curse given to me because of him. “He did things to me that no kid should ever go through.”
“You don’t have to tell me this. Not if you don’t want to.”
I’ve never told anyone the details of my younger days, and I lose my nerve despite my earlier resolve. “The point is he wasn’t a good parent. My ma neither. I don’t want to have my child live in the same fear I did.”
“So, break the chain.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
He pushes his hair back from his face. “Isn’t it? You don’t want your kid to go through what you went through, so change it. Be different. You got a lot of good shit here, Rage. Brothers not by blood but by a deeper bond. You want the girl and the kid, we’ll help you have that. You just want the kid… well, we’ll fix that too.”
A shiver works up my spine. “Skye ain’t to be touched,” I warn, a crack of darkness in my voice.
“Okay then.” His eyes go to the windscreen. “He’s here.”
I follow his line of sight, seeing a tall guy crossing the street and heading into a building. The frontage is dull, the neon lights above the door turned off, but this bar is usually lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.
We get out the van and cross the street. Hawk glances around before he tries the front door. Stupid fuck didn’t lock it, granting us access into the club.
There are no windows inside, but the main floor is lit up with overhead lights that are as dull as the decor. I take in the bar along one wall and the few booths lining the back of the space. It stinks of bleach mixed with stale booze, but I don’t give two fucks about that. My adrenaline is pumping, ready for the altercation I know is coming.
This prick owes the club five fucking grand and thinks he can keep dodging collections. He’s about to realise how wrong he is. I siphon all my anger and all my rage into one box inside me that I can open when the time is right. I’m itching for a fucking fight.
Hawk walks through the space with a confidence I wish I could project. The door that leads to the staff only area is no barrier as we make our way through a maze of corridors and into the back rooms.
My brother wastes no time in putting a boot to the door. It flings open, hitting plaster as it swings back, and I glimpse the fuck we’re here to hurt for a moment before Hawk fills the door. The pleasure I experience seeing the fear mask his face is indescribable.
As soon as Hawk gives me the space to step around him, I make a beeline for the cunt. I don’t hesitate before I slam my fist into his jaw hard enough to make him stumble back, clearing most of the end of the desk of papers and other shit.
“What the fuck?” His surprise irritates me. He knows exactly why we’re here and acting otherwise is fucking stupid. “Are you crazy?”