Page 153 of Exiled
While we never said it out loud, I’d like to think by mutual unspoken agreement that we would tell the other if we weren’t feeling it anymore. I know I’d tell him, not that I see that changing…ever.
I wince, and forcibly shove that line of thinking away.
Regardless of my own messy feelings on the matter, Nolan’s not like that, at least not for no good reason. He’s not some fumbling teenager who can’t make heads nor tails of his feelings. He’s not messing with me like Adam did. I have to trust that.
Plus, it’s different now than it was when he avoided me after that first time. We barely knew each other when this all first started. It was confusing and unexpected; of course he needed to get his head wrapped around it.
Things are different now. We’re different. Closer.
It’s like we’ve…I don’t know, grown into our skin or something. We…changed. At least, I know I did.
I’m stronger.
Wiser.
More confident than I’ve ever been in my life.
Moremethan I’ve ever known myself to be.
He gave me that.
And I like to think I gave him a little something too. Madehimbetter, just like he made me. And no, it’s not just all the sex.
It’s…more. So much more.
And while I doubt he’s as far gone for me as I am for him, I can’t see how his feelings would’ve changed so drastically in the last hour and a half since we separated after group, when he winked at me, told me he’d see me soon, and to—quote, un-quote—“Knock ’em dead,” before disappearing outside.
It just…It couldn’t have.
The path veers off to the right, and through a break in the trees I spot his villa.
I frown, my steps slowing. It’s dark.
Because he fell asleep, duh.
Right,I think, with a strong, reaffirming nod.
Shaking away the doubts trying to poke their way into my brain, I strengthen my strides and head for his front door. I knock a couple times, looking over my shoulder. Not that I care that much if someone sees—I’m sure people have already, with how much I come and go from this place.
A few seconds pass with no sounds coming from inside.
I knock a little harder, rocking from foot to foot. My breaths start to pick up, as if my body’s trying to warn me of something.
No, no, everything’s okay.
This time I pound on the door. I wince, silently berating myself for not having any patience. But I can feel that restlessness inside me brewing, and the doubts and worries getting louder, too loud to ignore.
Okay…so he’s not here.
I peek through the window, finding a big enough gap in the curtain to make out some of the room.
It’s dark. No sign of life.
Releasing a shaky breath, I step back, nodding to myself.
It’s okay. Maybe he went to go find me. Maybe we just…missed each other somehow.
Turning on my heel, I jog up the little dock leading to the pathway. It’s dark—hidden mostly in shadow. Someone will be coming around anytime now to light the tiki torches lining the graveled pathways.