Page 70 of Teach Me To Sin
“Fuuuuuuck,” Benji moans ecstatically as I start thrusting in deep jerks of my hips that linger when I’m all the way in, then drag out across his prostate.
I’m so focused on the boy under me that I forget the man behind me. When two fingers slide into my ass, my rhythm stutters and I make a sobbing sound against Benji’s shoulder. “I can’t do this. I can’t hold out any more. Please let me come.”
I think there are four fingers in me now as I feel Colson straddle my legs from behind. “You can’t come until Benji does. That’s just good fucking etiquette.”
“Okay,” I groan, trying to get myself under control. Benji lifts his legs up to his chest, and I start moving inside him again. “Oh god,” I whisper when I feel Colson’s fingers spread and his slick cockhead rub my entrance. I’m in no position to comprehend the logistics of two people thrusting at once, so I just let the man behind me figure it out. He presses a hand against my lower back, getting me to arch and spread my ass, then pushes his cock in next to his fingers. For a second, I think I made a terrible mistake, but the pressure becomes bearable, then mind-blowing.
Colson fucks me with slow, firm thrusts, his hips on my ass pressing me into Benji. But we’re all desperate now, all on the edge of losing our minds, and within a minute everything is sweaty and frantic and uncoordinated, with slapping skin and choked moans. I feel Benji’s ass start to spasm around me, so I shove my hand in between us and jerk him off fast until he’s coming all over himself with a wail.
When I pull out of Benji, Colson grabs a fistful of my ass and goes so hard I can’t breathe. Someone’s hand wraps around my cock and before they can even stroke it, I shoot cum up Benji’s chest and across his face. I’m not even finished when I feel Colson shudder and go still, his heavy cock as deep inside me as can reach. When he pulls back slowly, I groan at the sensation of warm cum slipping out, trailing down my taint and balls and thighs.
After a long moment, Colson flops over on his side, his arm around my waist dragging me down to lie in the curve of his body. I pull Benji close to me and lick lazily at the cum on his cheek until he laughs and starts to squirm.
We’re filthy. We should shower and go to bed properly. But everything is warm and loose and sleepy, and each one of us is touching both of the others. I can’t bring myself to move, to invite the possibility of a world where I don’t spend the rest of my life right here with Colson’s thumb stroking the shell of my ear and Benji squeezing my hand tight to his chest.
Colson
“Hello?” Gray’s gravelly croak sounds like I just ripped him out of bed.Shit. I check the time on my watch–five in the morning. In my defense, this is really important.
“Please help me.”
There’s a pregnant pause, followed by the rustle of him getting up. “Let me guess. You’ve gone absolutely mad for both of them, and now you’re panicking.”
I would ask him how he knew, but it seems like I’m just that fucking obvious, especially to him. It would have been nice if someone had bothered to tell me.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt like this before, Gray. No offense.”
He huffs a dry laugh. “None taken.”
“How the fuck did you know it was right to give up everything for Jonah?” I absolutely hate myself, because my throat tightens and my voice goes all fucked-up on the next sentence. “How did you know it was going to work out? That he wasn’t going to turn around and leave you in a year, or that you weren’t going to leave him?” I force myself to stop talking, because otherwise I’ll never stop and he’ll never give me an answer.
I hear him sigh, but when he speaks again, he sounds like he’s smiling. “I didn’t know, Cole. I had no idea. But I didn’t fucking care, because it washim. Whether I got to spend five more minutes with him or fifty years, it would have been worth it.”
Pacing along the back patio, I pause outside the bedroom window. Through the half-closed blinds, I can see two naked forms in bed, tangled together so I can hardly tell which limbs belong to who. Benji’s facing the window, and he looks ridiculous with his head thrown back and his mouth hanging open, his hair sticking in every direction.
“I don’t know if you can count, Gray,” I murmur, turning away toward the pool, “but there are three of us up here. That’s not how these things typically work. What do I think I’m doing, when I couldn’t even make a relationship work with one person?”
“Okay,” he muses patiently. “Put on your lawyer hat and think it through, Cole. Would you want to date only Alek or only Benji?”
Both those thoughts are so absurd I snort. Letting one of them go would be like cutting off one of my legs. “Of course not.”
“Well then your only other option is to have neither of them.”
And that’s my moment, I guess. When I realize that I don’t need to know in order to make the right choice. Because the thought of never seeing them again, of sitting around in an empty house–wherever the fuck in the world I might be–knowing I could have been with them instead, crushes me. “That’s not an option.”
“Great. I’m going back to sleep,” he grumbles. “And for the record, I had this exact conversation with Victor when I was in your position, and he was significantly less nice than me. So be grateful.” Then he hangs up on me.
That was both more and less climactic than I expected, and I feel a little lost as I go inside and wait for the boys to wake up. I get so desperate that I boot up the zoo game again, and spend an hour terraforming a rock wall for some mountain goats. I’m buying this console and game for myself as soon as I get home.
When I hear voices from the bedroom, I grab some pre-packaged muffins from the kitchen and venture toward them. Benji sits up excitedly as I nudge the door open, while Alek rolls onto his back and watches me with uncertain eyes. “I made you a romantic breakfast in bed,” I announce, then throw one of the muffins at Benji. He cackles, and even Alek cracks a sleepy smile.
My heart is beating too fast, and the words in my head churn in circles like my brain is a washing machine. The sight of Alek watching Benji adoringly as he gobbles his muffin and drops crumbs all over his lap is the only thing that stabilizes me enough to go through with my plan. “We’re heading back to Seattle soon, and I have something I want to say.” The plan to keep my voice casual must not work, because both of them fix me with intent, worried stares. I sit down on the end of the bed. “I want to stay in Washington, maybe buy a place in the countryside to fix up. And I’m really fucking worried right now that this was supposed to be casual and I’m overreacting. This is ridiculous. I’ve never been so off-kilter in my whole life.”
I might have rambled nonsense for the rest of the day, if Benji didn’t crawl across the mattress and wrap his arms around me, burying his face in my chest. I look over his head at Alek, who’s watching me with a faint smile that’s growing stronger by the second. “I love you both.” That part was supposed to be hard, but it feels as easy and right as breathing. “More than I can even understand. And I know I’m going to let you down, probably hundreds of times, but I swear to you that I would never cheat or walk away. I would never give up on us.”
Benji frees his face from my shirt and fixes luminous eyes on me. “I’m in. I’m not complicated like you two. I’ve loved you both for like a million years already.”
Scooting closer, Alek studies us. I can see his mind working over all the challenges and logistics, the bumpy road we’ve been on, all his fears for the future. Finally, he just holds out his hand to me in a simple, sure gesture. I put my hand in his, our palms pressed together, and Benji wraps his fingers around both of us.