Page 22 of His Human to Adore
“I think I must listen to the goddess.”
A roll of thunder accompanies a flash of light in the sky above. It does not strike me where I am sitting, so either my mother’s aim is poor, or the goddess is still looking out for me even though I have been a disrespectful male toward her and the female she blesses me with.
I narrow my eyes at the sky before lowering my gaze once more. “I will make you proud and be an honorable male, but that means I must not listen to these signs you are giving me. The goddess has never led me astray. I cannot forsake her now that things are hard.”
Another flash of light stays up in the clouds. I am overstaying my welcome near my mother, and I do not want to make the goddess work even harder to protect me from my mother’s wrath since she has already protected me so much in life. It is not right that I rely so heavily on the goddess’s grace and kindness. Eventually, she will become annoyed with me for always needing her protection and her aid. I need to claim Deja before the goddess decides I am not worth the effort she puts forth and has Deja become attracted to a new male.
I am quick at running back to the great hall. I have been a stupid male. So stupid and selfish, so worried about what my mother might think that I have not accepted what the goddess is giving me or even thought about what I want. No, I have thought my mother’s opinion on the matter is the most important when it cannot possibly be since I can feel the hollowness of my chest and my soul when I am away from my mate.
Yes, Deja is my mate. I just need to take her in that way before she realizes just how foolish I am. Surely, she will not want a male so foolish, so I will take her before she realizes.
I am near my workshop when three strikes of light hit the ground right in front of me so close that my scales vibrate with their power. The feeling reminds me of when I was young and hiding from the storms in a verpar den. My eyes grow wide, and I know I am not meant to move any further toward the great hall.
Maybe the goddess is doing it because I need to repent for how I have treated Deja, or maybe the goddess is no longer holding my mother back from attacking me. Either way, it is clear that I must stay in the workshop until this storm is over, and then I will claim my female. I just need to hope she doesn’t realize there are better males or that I can survive until then because I can feel my mind unraveling every moment I am not with her.
I have been unsuccessful in making sure that I do not unravel without Deja in my bed or in my life. No, I have completely fallen apart.
My body has finally stopped growing to accommodate the figure of a chosen warrior, but my mind has not stilled because I have been away from that which calms the beast inside of me. The rage that will forever simmer under my scales is all that fuels me, and it keeps me from finding any peace until she is back in my arms. No, not even then. I know I am completely lost because I am likely to mate with her as soon as I spot her.
One of the elders, probably Narrath, left a book that tells the tales of the goddess’s chosen warriors. I did not know we still had any books in the tribe since Ralleth’s father, the old tribe leader, bartered them for goods and supplies when there were still many of us too young to aid in the hunting.
Sketching my Deja and the book about chosen warriors are the only things that keep my mind from shattering completely while I am away from my mate. I have read it many times through by the time the storms finally stop, and I am grateful for the insights into what has happened to me.
When a male is chosen by the goddess to be the warrior of his tribe, it is because the goddess is preparing the tribe for conflict that she foresees happening. She’ll choose a male or males that she imbues with power straight from her vein. The goddess’s blood can be toxic to any of her creatures, which is what causes the rage and the bloodlust. To get around these things, she provides the male with a mate who can tame the beast inside himself and who can soothe the rage that burns him from the inside out.
The chosen male cannot finish his transformation until he mates with the female the goddess has specifically picked out to be the one to tame the beast in his soul. A male long ago had his mate perish before they could complete the mating ceremony, and he slowly turned into a rampaging beast that slaughtered entire tribes of his enemies before his own brothers had to put him down because he was turning on them. The bloodlust becomes uncontrollable and destructive the longer the male is without his female.
This is what everyone is afraid will happen to me, or at least they would if they knew about it. I’m sure Narrath has told them all by now that I am unstable, even though they’ve all known that for a while now. At least they will all know that this is not something they can expect me to navigate without issue. Especially since I have been doing such a poor job of completing the one thing that will make all of this easier. I thought being with Deja would be enough to keep me sane, but now it is clear that even if I was not planning on mating the next time I see her, the goddess will make me with how wild I have become.
I am reading through the pages of the book once again when the rain outside my workshop finally ceases. Well, I think it has recently stopped because no one has come to find me yet, and I am just noticing it. I would like to think that my brothers would come to save me from my madness as soon as possible, but they also may not want to since I am not in my right mind. They may all still fear that I may attack them or their females.
The sky looks normal, but the clouds are dark enough to tell me that the goddess is not done bringing the storms, even though they should not be here for many more days. This will hurt the supplies that should be coming to us from the other tribes. We will be lucky if anyone is even willing to venture into the trees if they see the storms raging. We have already sent the olack with a few brothers who are used to being out in the trees and are not interested in female mates. They haven’t returned, but they must be in the shelters in the trees since they left during the first break of storms almost ten days ago.
I make my way to the great hall as quickly as I can. My hands are twitching to touch my female, and my mind is of a singular focus. I need to find Deja, get her on her knees, and feed her my seed so I can claim her as mine in the traditional sense. This is the only way to calm myself and hopefully rid myself of some of the anger still in my veins. She will agree to this. She has already called me her mate and asked for me to be with her in the way mates are. I only need to be respectful of her and get her somewhere where it is just the two of us.
Erkoz exits the great hall just as I am nearing it, and I do not miss the flash of humor that glitters in his eyes and the way his lips pull upwards in a smile that promises I am not going to enjoy anything he has to say. He holds the door open for me but stands in the way so he can speak to me before I enter.
“You have been gone many days, brother.” He holds his place as I step up to him. I have grown in stature since being blessed by the goddess, but nothing makes Erkoz shake with fear. Even when I tower over him, knowing that I could make him submit with no effort now that I am larger and stronger. “Your blood has been kind to your mate.”
My teeth grind against one another, wanting to know why Erkoz is telling me this. Of course, Toron and Yril would be good to my mate. She is close to being blood to them as well. The way Erkoz watches me, like I’m a beast about to snap, and he wants to be the one to say the words to see me completely lose it. My rage is all-consuming, but I’m not lost to it completely yet.
“Yes, very kind,” Erkoz crosses his arms in front of his body. “Did you know the goddess has blessed them as well? Maybe you are meant to share as Xoth and I do.”
I’m snarling in Erkoz’s face, my horns pressing down on him, getting him to submit even as he just smiles up at me with a laugh on his lips. I push him into the great hall and keep walking until he’s pressed against a pillar because he refuses to back down. It’s very much in character for Erkoz, but I don’t understand what he gains from getting me more angry than I already am. His mate doesn’t dare get close to us because she can see that Erkoz has made a fool of himself yet again.
“Dath,” My Deja says my name so sweetly that everything else disappears from my mind. My gaze snaps over to her, and Erkoz is given enough time to slink away back to a seat near his mate. He doesn’t pull Kendra into his lap, probably in case I am still angry at him. He wouldn’t put his mate in danger, and I most definitely wouldn’t hurt my human friend.
I try to say my human’s beautiful name, but my voice is gone and replaced with a hiss when I turn to face her. She is sitting between Toron and Yril, who both wear smiles that could rival Erkoz’s in their mockery. Their smiles are not what catches my attention. No, it is the blood red of their eyes and the slight change in their bulk. I do not miss that Yril’s hand is on the table next to my mate’s, his fingers touching her just barely. Toron’s is on the back of her chair, his posture daring me to say something about it.
“Dath?” Deja’s eyes grow wide as I stalk over to where they all sit. She must know that they are goading me into being the worst version of myself.
It does not surprise her when I pull her from her chair and throw her over my shoulder, teeth bared at Toron and Yril, daring them to fight me over my claim. My hiss is deep in my chest, a warning to anyone in the great hall that this female is mine, and I will fight to the death over her. I do not care that Toron and Yril both seem to be chosen warriors as well. They can find their own mates because I have already claimed Deja to be the one to soothe my rage.
Deja doesn’t wiggle around in my grasp. She is much too smart for that and knows that I need her now more than I need the beating in my chest. She doesn’t even give me a glare when I toss her onto my bed and move my wardrobe in front of the bedroom door since it is the room I share with Toron and Yril when I am not having nightmares. I do not want anyone interrupting us as I mate my human and make sure she knows she is mine and only mine.
“You have one chance to tell me no.” I crawl between my human’s legs and press my length against her. I am still clothed, so I cannot feel if she is wet for me, but I can feel her rubbing against me, just as aroused as I am after being away from each other for so long. “One chance, or I’m claiming you and never letting you out of my sight again. Never letting another male touch you again. Tell me you want this. Tell me you need this as much as I do.”
Deja pushes at my chest, and my chest hollows out as I move off of her. She is saying no. She must have realized in my absence that I have been a foolish and idiotic male. The worst kind of male by not claiming her immediately.