Page 52 of Depraved Royals
I won’t let him make me cry. He pulled me off my pedestal and dashed me to the ground, just like I feared he would. Men like him don’t know any other way to be.But he coaxed me with pretty lies and blistering passion, making me believe there could be a way for us to be happy together. Knowing I’m too far gone to let go of that belief.
I hate myself for letting my guard down. Even now, his expression is softening, and I’m willing him to say something that will make it all okay.
“Dani, look. I’m sorry, alright?”
Kal reaches for me, and I try to turn away, but I can’t. His hand caresses the back of my neck.
“You know I’m broken. But you promised me you’d be there for the ugly stuff and right now, I need some grace. Will you give me just a little?”
I know I shouldn’t let him get around me. He lost his shit with me for leaving my house to get paint. What else is he gonna get angry about?
I push my doubts down for now. It’s one incident. We won’t get through our lives without arguments.
“I left my paint outside,” I say. “I’ll bring it in and change into something more comfortable. Then fine, if you say so. I’ll go.”
Kal kisses my forehead. “Good girl. You can take your peppermint tea with you.”
“This is how it goes, sis. They start off saying all the right things, then boom. You get married, and they decide you’re just another thing they own.”
I knew what Mel would say about it. But I can’t bring myself to tell her or my parents about the baby.
It doesn’t matter now whether I marry Kal. I’m bound to him for life no matter what.
Mel hands me my teacup. “I swear, if I’d have been the one who got murdered, my husband would have tried to claim me on the homeowner’s insurance. When I voiced an independent thought, he acted as though I was malfunctioning. You know how people hit their appliances when they stop working properly?”
I breathe deeply. The steam from the tea is comforting, and the peppermint scent is helping my stomach to settle.
“I know,” I say, taking a sip. “But it’s not as though I didn’t try. I didn’twantto fall for him, but now it’s too late. I love every possessive, arrogant bone in his body, and I would rather be under his control than without him. That’s sick, isn’t it?”
“It’s love,” Mel says, “or akindof love, at least. It’s not healthy, but so much of what makes life worth living is objectively bad for you. Should people drink alcohol, do drugs, eat fudge cake, smoke, or do disgusting, depraved things in bed? Probably not. But isn’t that the point of those things? That they’re wrong?”
She’s right, of course. For me, Kal is like heroin. Once I let him under my skin, I could never get enough, and I’ll destroy myself just to keep getting that fix.
I have said nothing about the exhibition, either.
Kal knows what it means to me. He was there when the gallery burned down. He saw everything I worked for reduced to ashes. Now he wants me to abandon it after I worked so hard to build it up again?
I bared more than my body to him. I let him see my hopes, my fears, and my dreams. He knows I want my freedom. And yet, here I am, sitting around and waiting for him to come and tell me I can carry on with my life.
Kal Antonov has no right to do this to me. No one does.
A wave of sickness bubbles up from my stomach, and I groan. Mel helps me into the house and settles me on the couch in the lounge.
My Mama is sitting in the armchair, nursing a small glass of white wine. She nods at the bottle on the table.
“Kill or cure,” she says. “Worth a try?”
I grimace at the thought. “No, I can’t. I mean, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Mel leaves the room, and Mama sits forward, her elbows on her knees. She steeples her fingers under her chin.
“How far along are you, Dani?”
I close my eyes, pretending I didn’t hear her.
Shit.How can shetell?
“There’s no use in trying to hide it,” Mama says. “You look just like I did when I was having you. And it’s the only time I ever wanted that godforsaken mint tea.”