Page 74 of Depraved Royals

We walk up the stairs and into my mother’s room.

She usually keeps it tidy, but everything looks disheveled, and her bed is unmade. The wastepaper bin is full of burned photos, some of which are still mostly intact. I pick one up and see it’s a wedding portrait of her and Erik. His eyes have been burned out with cigarettes.

“He hated me, and I hated him,” Idina says. She’s sitting on her window seat, a mug of her perennial mint tea in hand. “It’s that simple.” She looks past me and gives Dani a strangely jovial wave. “Hello, Danica. How are you feeling, dear?”

“I… I’m okay,” Dani says, sounding uneasy. She’s picking up on the vibes too. “Not as sick as I was yesterday.”

“Hmm.” Idina sips her tea. “Don’t loiter, children. Come and sit.”

Dani takes the chair, and I put the picture down before sitting beside my mother on the window seat.

When I saw her last, she was determined to tear me down, and she didn’t care how crazy she seemed.

Now it’s as though my mother has had a lobotomy.

She’s smiling beatifically at me and keeps stealing glances at Dani. Not a single iota of her usual cattiness, no bitchy asides, and, given the circumstances, no screamed accusations of murder and betrayal. It’s unexpected, and I don’t know how to respond. I was ready to meet her rage with an appeal to her ego.

Only you can help me, that’s what I was going to say.You have all the power here. Please help me. Save me.

It’s a relief that I don’t have to do that. Idina looks at me like she did when she still thought I was her golden child.

“I’m so glad you came to see me,” she says. “You and Danica. Is everything alright, my son? Do you need me?”

Her eyes are so wide and pleading. It’s grotesque, in a way.

Vera loiters in the doorway. An expression of utter confusion has replaced her customary sour one. I search her eyes, but she shakes her head slightly.

She doesn’t get it, either.

I take a deep breath.

“Idina, you need to come and see Fyodor and tell him I didn’t set him up.”

“I don’t think he’ll be pleased to see me, Kal,” she says. “He doesn’t like me at all.”

I feel like I’m going insane. Sitting in the morning sunshine with her greying hair braided down her back, tea in hand, this woman looks like a benign spirit. She’s talking about Fyodor as if it’s all been some silly misunderstanding. Didn’t she throw things at these very walls, screaming his name and calling him a cunt and a bastard and every other profanity that came into her mind?

“He needs to know that I didn’t have any part in the ambush that almost got him killed. I want to marry Dani and be a part of a happy family. You can have that too, but you will have to admit your role and say that you’re sorry.”

Idina closes her eyes.

“Okay, I will,” she murmurs. “I accept the cards I’ve been dealt. Maybe it’s justice, after a fashion. But Simeon didn’t need to die.”

“You must make your peace with that, not me. I won’t carry guilt. It’s not my burden to bear.”

“I accept that.”

She stands up and places her cup on the table. The wedding photo is there, and she picks it up.

“Erik never let me forget that I was ruined,” say says. “He said no one but him would ever love me because I was having the child of a monster. But he was obsessed with you, Kal, even after he and I had two children of our own. He was sure you would be a soulless creature, capable of seizing power and prestige he couldn’t gain for himself.” She looks at the photo a moment longer before dropping it into the wastepaper bin. “All that is over now. I have nothing left. So I may as well face up to it and take my punishment.”

Dani speaks up.

“My Papa won’t punish you. He isn’t like that. He’s just tired and wants this to be over.” She stands and takes a step toward my mother. “We were a family. We can be again. There’s so much to look forward to, and I hope you’ll be there with us. Vera too.”

There’s a gasp from the doorway, but I don’t look at my sister. I fix my eyes on Idina.

In theory, this is going far better than I could have dared to hope. I haven’t had to convince my mother of anything - she seems to have started down the same path I did.