Page 74 of Prince of Sin

"Of course," I reply, stepping aside to let him enter. The air feels heavy between us, thick with unspoken words. I can tell he wants to touch me, and part of me craves his touch too, but at the same time, I don't. I'm uncertain, lost in a maze of conflicting emotions.

"How are you feeling?" he asks gently as he studies my face.

"Okay, I guess." My voice is barely above a whisper. He reaches out for me, but instinctively, I pull back a little. He recoils, his face a mixture of hurt and understanding.

"Sorry," he says softly. "Anyway, I wanted to ask if you'd like to come to the fundraiser tonight."

"I'm not sure," I admit, chewing on my lower lip. "What's it like?"

He smiles reassuringly. "It's technically a masquerade ball, but you don't have to dress up if you don't want to. If you decide to go, there are some dresses in your closet."

"Are you going in costume?" I ask, curiosity piqued.

"Yeah, I sort of need to play and look the part. The whole thing is for appearances, you know?" His smile fades a little, and I can see the weight of his family's expectations pressing down on him.

"What are you going as?"

Teddy grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I'm going as Lucifer."

"Like, the Devil?" I raise an eyebrow, surprised by his choice.

He shakes his head. "No, Lucifer before he fell."

"Interesting choice," I say, genuinely intrigued.

He smiles. "Anyway, I need to leave early. If you decide to go, just head to the foyer at the right time, and someone will take you." He steps closer, hesitating for a moment before giving me an awkward hug. We part ways, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the lingering warmth of his embrace.

Standing before the bedroom mirror, I stare at my reflection, the nun's dress suddenly feeling almost foreign on my body. It's suffocating, like an iron grip around my chest, and I want nothing more than to tear it off. My thoughts race as I try and make sense of my shift in emotions.

It felt odd taking the dress off when I changed for the dinner date. Then, it felt odd putting it back on when I returned.

I think back to Teddy, his touch, and the electrifying sensations coursing through my veins when we were in the car together. He was so gentle, so caring, never demanding anything from me.

Could he really be some demon sent to tempt me? Maybe Father James is right. Maybe Father Patrick was wrong all along, and I've just been demonizing someone who only wanted to help me.

"Ugh, get it together," I mutter under my breath, shaking my head.

But I can't face these doubts alone. God's been silent since I stepped foot in this mansion, leaving me to navigate this mess by myself. Maybe Father James can offer some guidance. I need something to hold onto amidst this chaos.

I make my way to the chapel, lost in thought as I traverse the opulent hallways. The sound of hurried footsteps catches my attention, and I glance up just in time to see Carmine scurrying past. He looks like a man with secrets, eager to avoid detection. I can't help but wonder what he's been up to.

Upon arriving at Father James' door, I knock hesitantly, unsure of what kind of reception I'll receive. Will he judge me for my feelings for Teddy? Or will he provide the support I desperately crave?

"Come in," Father James calls, his voice warm and inviting.

"Father, I...I need your help," I blurt out, barely able to contain my emotions. "I just...I don't know what to do anymore."

The door creaks open, and Father James' kind eyes meet mine. "Raven, my child," he says gently, gesturing for me to enter. I step inside the small chapel, my heart heavy with the turmoil inside of me.

"Father, I...I'm struggling," I admit, my voice shaky. The words spill from my lips like water from a broken dam. "I'm torn between my feelings for Teddy and my desire to be a nun. With what happened between us already, I'm scared that I may be falling in love with him. How can that be when I'm supposed to love God and Jesus only?"

Father James folds his hands together and studies me for a moment before speaking. "Just because you love Teddy does not mean you don't have space in your heart for God. Think of it this way: mothers have many children but love all of them equally."

His words bring a new perspective to my dilemma, and I feel the knot in my chest loosen slightly. He continues, "It's important to forgive yourself and understand that it's possible to care deeply for more than one person without diminishing your love for God."

I nod, taking in his advice as I consider the path laid out before me. My thoughts gravitate towards Teddy, wondering how he'll react when I tell him the truth about not taking my vows yet. A newfound determination fills me, urging me to face the situation head-on.

"Thank you, Father James," I murmur, my gratitude evident in my voice. "You've given me a lot to think about."