Page 41 of Admittedly For Me
“Why is everyone so scared of hurting her feelings? They mean well, but if they really care, they should just tell it like it is.” Justin nods and stares at the fire. “They kind of do. You can’t force her to do anything, Ian. If she doesn’t want anything to do with you, doesn’t want to listen, there’s only so much you can do.”
“True, but I’m not ready to give up.” I take a deep breath and decide to change the subject. “How has Hallie been feeling with the pregnancy?” It’s only been a couple of days since the wedding, but we didn’t get to talk much about it.
“So far, so good.” Justin smiles, elation in his voice. “She was a bit nauseous this morning, but some toast helped.”
“I can’t wait to build your child a toy box, or one of those mini rocking horses––no, a rocking tractor.” It will be nice having another little one hanging around. My niece is in her early teen years, and I swear she was just a little tike begging for one more piggyback ride.
“Sounds like you need one of your own.” Justin smiles, his eyes full of warmth.
“In time.” I get up and toss another log onto the fire, letting the conversation die out.
Lost in our own thoughts, his phone beeps, startling us both. “The girls are finished.”
“Tell them to stop by here for a bit.” I gather our empties and carry them into the house. “I have stuff for s'mores. Chicks love those. I especially imagine pregnant ladies.”
“Hallie is already home. And for once, she has tomorrow off work.” Justin smirks. “I am going to head home and keep her up half of the night.”
“If I had someone waiting for me too, I’d be doing the same, bro.” I chuckle as he steps off the back patio. “Goodnight,” I call out.
“Hey, Ian?” Justin says, grabbing my attention, and I turn my head.
“Yeah, man?”
“I stand corrected,” Justin calls out, and I watch him walk past the tiny redhead approaching me with flushed cheeks and a shy smile.
I’m not a man to have a loss for words, but this is almost as unexpected as running into her the first time she was back in town. “I’m not here to sleep with you.” She quickly shakes her head as her dark curls bounce. “I just…found myself wanting your company.” Her level head shows she’s making progress, and I suppress a wide smile. “Like old times.”
“So...?” I pause, waiting for her to continue, wanting her to give me more. When she doesn’t speak, I continue. “It’s after ten and you decided to just stop by and talk?”
“I didn’t expect it either.” I’ve never heard a more honest tone in her voice since before she left. “Tonight kind of sucked. I figured I could share my sucky energy with you.”
“Pick a seat. I’ll always make time for you.” I yawn, but try to make it unnoticeable.
“Do you have to be up early?” Her blue eyes fill with concern. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have dropped by unannounced.” She turns to head back out.
“Wait.” I nod toward my outdoor furniture. “I know your tolerance for wine is very low. If I had to sit through a stupid pottery class, I would need plenty of alcohol as well.” I watch her eyes soften. “Who dropped you off?” I don’t imagine her driving after having a few drinks.
“Mr. Melanson was teaching the class and lives just up the road from you. I’m assuming Justin told you where we were.” She takes a seat on the opposite side of the patio couch from me.
“Briefly.” I sip my beer, allowing her to fill the silence as she wants to.
“The lake is so calm.” She sounds almost shy. “It’s such a nice night out. You have a perfect field of lightning bugs to gaze at.”
“You’re enjoyable to gaze at.” I throw out the cheesy line, but it’s true with the way the moonlight glows off her hair and how her eyes shine as she stares at the fire.
She shifts, and I silently groan at her choice of attire. Her jean shorts show every curve too well, while her fitted white tank top hugs her cleavage. A shiver pulls her arms around her, and I stand, holding up a finger. Opening my patio door, I grab my hoodie and hand it to her.
“Thank you.” Her eyes always seemed to blend with whatever shade of blue she wears, and this navy hoodie darkens them. She gets comfy on the couch, wrapped in my hoodie, as if it’s a blanket. Looking over at me with flushed cheeks, I’m guessing she is at least two glasses of wine in.
“I have everything for s’mores if you want to make some.”
“No, I’m fine, thanks.” She smiles, and there is something admirable about the sad vulnerability she masks with strength. The urge to break down her walls and have her open up consumes me once again. To have Emery overcome something she didn’t think was necessary.
“Let’s talk.” I sit on the other side of the couch. “Should I lead into some things I’ve been thinking about, just jump in, or do you want to start and tell me what’s on your mind?”
“I think I’ll need another glass of wine if you want to jump in.” Her expression becomes unreadable as her fingers brush over her bottom lip. “You know what? Just jump. You and I don't work well with small talk.” A small laugh pushes through. “Rapid fire. Go.” And I don’t hesitate to do just that.
“Is your guard up because of your parents, or because you were cheated on?” Her eyes widen slightly, and she takes a moment before responding, which lets me know she’s actually going to. It’s both surprising and relieving.