Page 63 of Admittedly For Me
“You spent the summer with her and that bossy girlfriend you know I wasn’t fond of.” He points his finger at me with a knowing smile. “That little red-head and you had this energy between you. I saw your future together. Then one day, you stopped bringing her around.” I swallow, trying to figure out how to give him an answer.
“Hallie said she left for school out of state. Her parents died, and she needed a fresh start.” There, no lies to be called out on.
“Go, track her down. She’s not scared to keep you in check, and I saw the way you looked at her. She looked at you the way your mother looked at me. Every damn time.”
“If I see her again, I’ll tell her how I feel.” It’s been brutal not asking her location. I know her avoiding pain, and watching me try to cope and heal with mine, made her castle walls teeter. She wanted them cemented for good.
“Man up and tell her how you feel. Don’t let her go a second time, dummy head.” My father shakes his head as my phone lights up.
Justin: Hallie is in Aspen for the weekend. I’m free if you wanna hang
My heart jumps at the first mention of Hallie’s travels. Of fucking course. Aspen.
I stand, tossing some money on the table, and grab my phone with shaking hands.
“Where do you think you’re going, son?”
“Aspen.”
My food is set in front of me, interrupting my thoughts. My father didn’t know much about health and nutrition, but what he did know was love. But you can’t force someone to show their feelings and seek comfort in you. Even though I’m here with open arms, Emery still has to keep me at a distance, as if I leave a bad impression. I can’t keep putting myself through this. She’s right; I deserve to be treated better. If she wants my attention again, she’ll have to work for it.
Chapter19
Emery
“Dammit!”An echo sounds through the entryway.
“Is everything alright?” I round the corner from the kitchen.
“Hey, Emery.” Aunt Quinn drops her bag, exhausted. “That drive was too long, but the time away was worth it.” Her arms stretch above her head.
“Hot sex is always worth it,” I reply, but regret sets in with my previous actions. “I’m making dinner. It should be ready in half an hour.”
“Perfect.” Her smile takes up her whole face at that. “We can chat about Vegas over dinner. I’m looking forward to hearing about your last few days.”
“We were there one night. Nothing too crazy happened.”
“Well, I’m sure you didn’t just stay in the house when you got back.”Yeah, I pretty much have the past three days. “I’m going to have a quick shower.” She shoots me a tired smile and heads upstairs.
My signature pasta dish has been on my dinner menu for the past few days. It’s my comfort meal and how I hold on to the memories of how far I’ve come since Ian taught me the basics. My skin lights up at the thought of him. At the thought of him telling me what I need to hear beyond orgasms. As safe as he makes me feel, I push my emotions down, setting the knife down to collect my thoughts before I lose a finger.
Biting my cheek, the heaviness of it all washes over me. I shouldn’t have fucked Ian the other day. It was selfish of me to lead him on. But when he looked me in the eye and called mehis,I doubted that I could ever be enough for him beyond the physical. There are moments I feel like the girl I once knew and loved to be. I know what he wants in a relationship and out of life. Yet, I can’t reciprocate. Why can’t I be normal and let a man love me?
Finishing up cooking, the front door opens. Hallie and Savannah enter and pause, closing their eyes and enjoying the smell.
“Wow, that smells incredible,” Savannah raves, walking over to the stove.
“You can stay for dinner, if you’d like.” I smile, quickly pulling myself together.
“I have a class to teach in an hour or I would.” Savannah helps herself to a small bite. “Tyler is bringing his daughter to the studio a bit earlier because he has to work. His mom can only be there to pick her up after.”
“You two have been spending quite a bit of time together this week.” Hallie smirks, raising her eyebrows.
“Don’t get any ideas.” Savannah rolls her eyes, but I notice the way her cheeks lightly blush. “I just got out of a relationship. Plus, it’s his daughter I’m spending a bit of time with before classes.” Savannah keeps her eyes on the food, talking quicker than normal. “I’m just being a friendly member of the community.” Tyler is one of the town’s hottest bachelors. And his daughter is the cutest. “He also doesn’t have time to date.”
“Does he have too many fires to tend to in this town?” I can’t help but point out. “Savannah, I’m sure he has free time at the firehouse to strike up a conversation or text with you.”
“I just had my heart broken. I need time to heal.” She says the last part directly to me. “Plus, his daughter is his top priority with his free time. I really admire that.”