Page 75 of Blurry Little Lines
“Woah.” Max looks down as the activity inside me picks up. “She can kick hard. I totally felt that.”
“Yeah,” I whine, and know it’ll be another sleepless night. “It’s so hard to sleep because her party time is my sleep time.”
“Hey, little missy.” Max’s hand rests on my bump. “I know your mom's voice puts you to sleep in the day and you are rocked about, but let’s try to let her sleep tonight.” His eyes lock onto mine. “She’ll probably have her days and nights mixed up for a while.”
My heart flutters, and I embrace it. “Both Mallory and James did for a while.” How could I forget how obsessed he was with learning about pregnancy. I never thought he’d continue past the point after giving birth.
“I’ll be sure to stay up with her so you can sleep between her feedings.” His comment takes me by surprise, though it shouldn’t.
“Benson moved to the other room because the babies were interrupting his sleep. He didn’t even need to get up early for work.” I watch him bite his tongue and tighten his hug around me. I know I need to stop pointing out how much of a jerk my ex was.
“Well, you and I are a team and are going to kick ass at parenting from here on out.”
“I’m ready to take on life with you, Max.” Not that I haven’t already spent the last twenty-plus years with him by my side.
“Good, because I’m going to keep conquering my fears for our family.”Our family. It hits me that we are now more than just friends, or people who have romantic feelings for each other. We created life together.
Holy shit.
An overwhelming weighted breath drops to my gut as my hand rests on my stomach. Max watches me with loving eyes, observing how I am finally processing the moment. His thick hand covers mine, and for the first time, we hold our child together. The longer I hold back tears, the more my eyes begin to sting and my throat chokes. My stomach jolts as an internal appendage pushes against Max’s abs.
“We’re having a baby.” I didn’t expect my voice to sound so full of disbelief. “Max, you and I are having a daughter.” He releases a long breath of relief, and I then see how crappy of a mother I’ve been. “You know that, of course.”
“God, you don’t know how good it feels to hear you acknowledge our baby in a happy tone. I haven’t heard you refer to our child as a baby until now.” His own eyes glass as he leans his forehead to mine.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve been thrown into the wringer the past two years. Don’t be sorry for taking the time to heal.”
“What mother wants to hide her child from the world? I’m having this baby whether people gossip about me or not. I should be proud I’m creating another little being.” I take a deep breath and put myself in his position. “This is your first baby and you’ve been so excited. I’ve held you back from the joy of telling anyone you want.” I shake my head and cup his face. “You’ve let me call every shot this entire time. God, Lauren is right about me acting like a brat.”
“You’re not a brat. I’m just relieved you’re not slipping away and end up leaving us.”Wait. As a mother, my heart breaks for a little boy who knew he wasn’t wanted.
“Max, I’m not like your mother.”
“She was fine at first. Postpartum depression is no joke.”
“I wasn’t fine at first. It took most of my pregnancy to realize you aren’t Benson, and if I were to have a child with anyone as a ‘do over’, it would be with you. Every single time.” My lips press to his with a gentle rhythm he gladly accepts.
My body comes to life with overdue need, and as I wrap my arms around his neck, I feel how much he needs me. I moan, pulling myself as close as I can against him as his tongue parts my mouth for him to enter. His hand runs up my thigh as he cups between my legs, and a finger circles my clit. I pant, opening my legs wider as he continues his rapid friction against me. I need more than just this.
“I need all of you, Max.” I grind the side of my bum against his dick, encouraging him to fill me.
“Process tonight before we move further.” His two fingers slip inside me and hit right where I need them.
My mouth attaches to his until my jaw unhinges as my orgasm takes over. My hand reaches down to rub the length of him to return the favor, and a hiss sounds through clenched teeth. His hips push forward, grinding into my hand. Wrapping a hand around my wrist, he brings the back of my hand to his lips with a soft kiss. His thumb brushes over my knuckles.
“Let me really earn it. The next time I come, it will be inside you.” I nod, but his rejection hurts. “Hey.” Max tips my chin up. “I love your hands on me. Tonight, you broke through a barrier, so let’s keep that the main focus.”
I smile, looking down at my growing bump, and run my hand over my daughter. Her little leg pushes against my hand as my smile widens. My heart feels full. I manage to push to my feet and offer my hand to Max.
“I’m tired,” I say as he takes my hand. Max stands with me as I lead us down the hallway. He stops at my door and waits for me to drop his hand. Instead, I pulled him into my room. “Stay with me.”
I stir as the sun shines through the curtains that I was too tired to close last night. Max, who has spent the last four nights in my bed, holds me close as I feel another body shift in front of me. James is curled up to me, sound asleep. My heart skips a beat, knowing Max and I haven’t let it be known to the kids that we are now in the same bed. Not that James seems to care. The more to cuddle, the merrier. Mallory, on the other hand–
“Mama!” My door smashes into the wall stopper as James and Max both jolt. “It’s fundraiser day.” Mallory jumps on the bed. “Hey, I want to cuddle too.” She lies down beside James and I’m glad my king-size bed is finally hosting bodies other than just mine.
“How about we skip the fundraiser and stay in bed all day,” I suggest, as Max sits up.