Page 79 of Blurry Little Lines
For the past three hours, I’ve been watching the most beautiful woman put her body through agony to bring life to our daughter. I never knew her true strength until I silently questioned if she may have broken a bone or two in my hand. There was a brief moment of regret when the nurse encouraged me to look at the head coming out of Kelsie. Somebeautiful magicshould be left to the imagination. That’s something I’ll never be able to unsee…
“One more push. Come on, you’ve got this,” the nurse encourages Kelsie.
“Atta girl.” I deepen my tone and smirk, hoping some humor will help distract the pain.
“That is the reason I am currently in this much pain!” Kelsie shouts through gritted teeth and bloodshot eyes.
And then, a baby cries, and the world mutes. My lungs forget how to breathe once our daughters begin. My heart tightens as chills break through my body. The sounds of the machines, voices talking, everything falls silent as I zone in on a beautiful, messy baby in the nurse’s hands. Kelsie falls back onto the pillow as I watch our baby rest on her chest. That’s our daughter. She is now here because I took part in creating life.
She’s perfect. Ours. Suddenly, the lights and everything around me blur. I blink and feel tears fall down my cheeks.
“You did it, Kelsie. I’m so proud of you.”
Seven hours have passed according to the clock on the wall, but it feels like we walked in here an hour ago. Kelsie’s eyes are shut as I hold our daughter. Her big doe eyes are fully open, staring up at me, siphoning my entire soul. It’s forever hers. My hands cradle everything my heart never knew it always wanted. There is nothing in this world I won’t do for my family. As I sit here rubbing the back of my finger over her soft cheek, my only fear is for her to not know the amount of love I have for her.
For her mother.
For her siblings.
For this family.
“Where is she?” Mallory bolts through the hospital door the next day.
“Shh.” Kelsie smiles. Thankfully, the baby only needs to be monitored for a night, and Kelsie and I will drive back to San Francisco instead of taking a newborn on a jet.
“Oh my goodness.” Mallory beams, taking a seat next to her mother on the bed. “It’s so weird that she drinks from your boobs.”
“You can hold her when she’s done eating.” Kelsie yawns, but still hasn’t let herself sleep since yesterday.
“Mom, she’s so tiny,” Mallory observes eagerly, waiting for her sister to stop feeding.
“I’m proud of you, half pint.” I lean down to kiss Kelsie’s forehead.
Once our daughter has been fed and burped, Mallory makes her way to the chair. I place the baby in her arms. Mallory remains silent as she takes in her new sibling. Miniature fingers close around Mallory’s pinky finger as she touch’s her sister’s little palm. Her smile grows tight as the edges turn down. Little tear droplets paint the swaddle blanket.
“She’s perfect,” Mallory says in a broken voice as her small shoulders shake in a hiccupped cry. “I love her so much.”
“She loves you too, honey.” Kelsie wipes her own eyes.
“I don’t even care if you didn’t call her Aspen.” Mallory keeps her eyes glued down. “She’s smaller than my dolls.”
“Mallory, you’re holding Laura Aspen.” Kelsie watches Mallory’s face light up.
“We figured the name had to have some meaning,” I chime in. “This baby was ready to make herself known in this city.”
“Laura?” Mallory looks down before smiling up at her mom. “It looks like you got yourself your own half pint, Mom.”
After Mallory, then James, who got bored after realizing the baby doesn’t do anything, and the rest of the family gushed over our little beauty, Kelsie and I decide to hunker down for one more night in this private room before renting a car to drive back home in the morning.
“I think I should be able to sleep tonight,” Kelsie says, walking out of the bathroom after a shower.
“I don’t know if I should waste time doing that when she’s this cute,” I admit.
“Trust me, you’re going to regret saying that in about three weeks’ time.” Once Kelsie is comfy in bed, I hand her Laura. It’s magical watching this woman’s body change so much. From creating life, birthing, and now feeding.
“You and I are a great team. We’re gonna rock it as a family of six.”
“You need to sleep, Max. We are a family of five.”