Page 32 of The Perfect Deal
The sound of Karrie’s snoring was so loud, I thought I saw the ceiling tiles shaking. Perhaps it was just the exhaustion from lying here awake for so many nights in a row that had me hallucinating, but every time she sucked in a breath, they seemed to bow in, and every time she released it, they bowed out again.
Irritated beyond belief, I angrily rolled over and shoved the pillow over my head. I hadn’t bothered to ask the nurse for earplugs. If I was honest with myself, it wasn’t just the snoring that was keeping me awake.
It had been nearly a week since Joshua and I had finally shared the night I’d only dreamed of before then. Everything about it had been perfect. The feel of his skin on mine, the way he tasted, how it felt to have him buried deep inside me. I’d never wanted it to end. When we were finished and he’d fallen asleep, I’d curled up and gone to sleep, too.
But then, I’d woken up in the middle of the night and realized I had to get back to the cabin before the sun got up so that no one saw me. I’d put my damp swimsuit back on, wrapped a towel around me, and walked back to Bear House. Thankfully, no one had noticed, and I’d been able to go into the bathroom and put my pajamas on.
Of course, I hadn’t been able to sleep then because of the snoring, but I’d been okay with that. Lying on my back that night, I’d been thinking of Joshua. I’d finally let my mind go to places I’d never dared think about before. I saw us as a couple, holding hands at family picnics, going out on dates, sometimes even with Poppy and Landon. Sure, my brother would be upset at first, but once he realized how much Joshua and I really loved one another, he’d come around.
Now, lying here listening to the sound of an entire forest being sawed down, I wiped a tear from my eye. How could I be so naïve? I’d actually thought things would be different since we’d slept together. Had that kiss in the woods taught me nothing? Joshua had avoided me at first then, and this was even worse. I’d never felt so abandoned and alone as I did when he refused to speak to me after we’d had sex. At the time, I’d been under the impression we were making love, but he was just fucking me. God, were all men exactly alike? I’d thought for sure he was different, but all signs were pointing to that not being the case at all.
I couldn’t take it anymore. Camp would be over in just a few days, and while there was still the flag football tournament left, I was done.Donedone. With a new resolve, I decided on a plan and finally found a way to shut out the noise in my head and in my ears long enough to get a couple of hours of sleep.
The next morning, I waited until Joshua was in the middle of a conversation with Sam and Myra before inserting myself into it. He couldn’t run off to speak to someone else if I cornered him while he was already doing just that.
“Excuse me, Coach Joshua,” I said, ignoring the fact that he was in the middle of a statement. “Can I speak to you for a moment please?”
“Uh, just a minute, Liberty,” he said dismissively. “We are talking about something important.”
“It’s okay,” Myra said, probably recognizing another woman’s desperation. “We’ll catch up with you later. Besides, I’ve gotta go make sure Silas stops picking up the quarterbacks and dropping them onto the ground.” She rolled her eyes, patted my shoulder, and motioned for Sam to come with her, which he did.
“But we weren’t done,” Joshua called after them, clearly wanting to do anything he could to prevent me from getting a chance to speak to him.
“It’s all right,” I told him, folding my arms over my camera strap. “This’ll just take a moment.”
I could see the fear and shame in his eyes when he finally looked at me. “What’s up, Liberty?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving,” I told him. “I’ve gotten enough pictures of everything in this first session to give you anything you need for your website and social media. I’ll finish editing what I have and get it to you. If there’s anything else you need, I can get it during the next session. If I come back.”
His eyebrows raised. “If?”
I shrugged, refusing to let the tears stinging the backs of my eyes fall. “I mean, I can get a cold shoulder anywhere, Joshua. There are a buttload of other guys out there who can ignore me just as well as you can, so why would I need to stick around here just to be ignored and treated as if I don’t matter?”
His mouth dropped open, and I could see him struggling to form a complete thought so that a sentence could come out through that gaping hole in his head, but all he managed was, “Liberty, come on.”
I put up a hand, not willing to listen to whatever excuses he had to offer me. “Save it. Maybe I’ll see you back home. Or maybe I won’t. Either way, my ride is already on the way. I’m going to go tell the girls goodbye, and I’ll catch you later. Or not.” With that, I spun on my heel and walked away from him.
He didn’t come after me, which made my heart sink even more. The truth of the matter was I hadn’t called Landon to come and get me yet. I was hoping Joshua would chase me down and tell me that he was sorry for being an asshole, that I mattered more to him than anything else. Instead, I got a long walk across the football fields to where my girls were stationed.
They were in the middle of a drill when I reached them, so I waited a few minutes for them to take a water break before I broke the news to them. “Hey, girls, something’s come up, and I’ve got to go home now.”
“What?” Rhiannon practically screamed. “No, you can’t.”
“We’re not done yet,” Monique reminded me. “How are you going to know if we won the tournament?”
“We’ll miss you too much,” Elizabeth lamented.
My bottom lip protruding, I said, “Oh, I’m going to miss you guys, too. I know it’s a shame, but there’s not much I can do about it. But hey, we’ll keep in touch. You all know my Insta handle, right? Once you’re home and have your phones, give me a follow.”
Though they were all still clearly upset, the girls nodded. “Do you think we’ll ever see you again?” Tessa asked me.
Smiling, I assured her, “Yeah, I think so. I mean, things in life have a way of working out the way they’re supposed to, and we’re friends now. We’ll definitely see each other again.” I gave each of the girls a hug before waving at Karrie, who said nothing, only watched. Then I headed out to my cabin.
With a deep breath, I pushed inside the room for the last time and quickly started throwing my things into my suitcase with one hand as I dialed my brother with the other. He answered almost immediately. “Liberty? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Relax, Landon,” I said, chuckling. “Everything is fine. Good grief. I’m at a youth sports camp, not trudging up the side of Mount Everest.”
“Well, it’s been over a week, and you hadn’t called once,” he reminded me. “I was beginning to think you’d drowned in the lake, and Joshua hadn’t gotten up the nerve to tell me yet.”