Page 35 of The Perfect Deal
“I’m so happy to hear that,” I said, managing to swallow down the pizza. Practically guzzling my tea, I contemplated whether or not to try another bite. I knew it wasn’t the cook’s fault. The pizza was fine. It was good even. I was just having a hard time with my mouth these days.
“I’m sorry you girls are disappointed in having me as a counselor,” Karrie said, not sounding sorry at all. Instead, she sounded annoyed, and like she was fishing for compliments.
“Oh, we like you, too, Miss Karrie,” Elizabeth offered, that glow fading as she realized she’d accidentally offended the other woman. “It was nice having you both.” Some of the other girls nodded, but it was obvious that none of them liked Karrie the way that they liked Liberty. How could they? Karrie couldn’t hold a candle to Liberty in any way.
I shifted the conversation to sports, asking the girls about their favorite ones. We made light conversation until dinner finally finished. There was another activity for the group that night, a glow party, with dancing, but I decided not to go. I let Sam know I had a headache and asked him to be in charge. He said, “That’s what happens when you get beaned in the face with a football.” I fake laughed and then rushed off to my cabin.
Being alone in my room didn’t make me feel any better. In fact, in a lot of ways, it made it worse. I tried to lose myself in a movie on my laptop, but my thoughts kept straying back to Liberty. I had to find a way to clear the air with her and get back to where we were. Even if I never had a chance to be with her, at least that way she’d be in my life.
My eyes were tracing over the bed we’d made love on, and I felt myself beginning to harden just thinking about her, images of her body and memories of how she’d felt taking over.
When my phone rang and I saw I had a FaceTime call from Landon, all of the blood ran right out of the places it had been collecting in. This was it. This was the conversation I’d been dreading for years. He was going to reach through the phone and kill me.
I contemplated not answering. After all, I was supposed to be outside with the kids right now, dancing and having fun. But if I put it off, I’d just be worried about it for later. Reluctantly, I answered the call. “Hey, Landon. How are you?” I decided to go with innocence, for now.
“Hello, Joshua. I’m good. How are you?” He smiled at me, and I suddenly realized Liberty hadn’t told him anything.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Fine.”
“Whoa—looks like you took one to the face today. Did you get in a fight?”
Absently, I rubbed my cheek. “Not yet.”
“Huh?” He was obviously confused.
I laughed. “Wayward football. What’s going on?”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I was just calling to talk to you about the trip we’ve got planned, but you don’t quite seem yourself. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just super tired. We’re almost done with this session, so I’m looking forward to heading home for a while, getting to sleep in my own bed. That sort of thing.”
His head rocked back and forth, but he didn’t seem to believe me. “Liberty said she was just tired, too. I hope you guys aren’t coming down with something.”
“Yeah, I hope not either. But what’s up with the trip?” I wanted to steer him back to the reason he’d called so that I could quickly get off the phone with him and go back to being miserable—alone.
“Oh, yeah. Just wanted to go over an itinerary. But you know, man, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, I’m here for you, right?”
“Yeah, of course, I know that.” I took a deep breath and tried again to shrug it off. “Seriously, I’m just tired. What have you and Poppy got planned for us?”
He stared at me a moment longer before picking up a sheet of paper to read off what they’d talked about. I did my best to listen and put in my two cents, but in the back of my mind, all I could think about was Liberty.
22
LIBERTY
For the first few days that I was back from camp, I practically locked myself in my room. I told Landon that I was just overly tired and needed to rest, but that wasn’t true. Every time I thought of Joshua, a huge ache formed in my heart, radiating down to the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t even function because of the agony I was in. Finally, the two of us had been together, and then he’d had to go and ruin it. I didn’t understand, and I wasn’t sure I ever would.
The last day of camp rolled around, and I knew he’d be back. Most of the time, when Joshua got back from camp, he disappeared for a few days, probably getting some rest. I understood now why he would need to do that. Camp wasn’t just physically draining, it was also emotionally and mentally challenging. Having to be a parent to all of those kids at the same time was hard.
Now was the time for me to get out of the house if I was going to do so without running into him. While I still felt miserable, I knew some sunshine would do me some good. Pushing through the challenge of actually doing something normal, I picked up my phone and sent Poppy a text. “Do you want to go shopping and have some lunch?”
She answered immediately. “You’re alive!”
I laughed, knowing she was probably just giving me some space. There was no way my brother hadn’t mentioned to her that I was back. “Yes, I’m alive. I’ve been exhausted, but I’m ready to get out into the world again.”
“You know I’m down, girl. I’m sure you want to drive so you won’t be seen in my van. I’ll be over soon.”
“Sounds good.” I laughed. While my brother was embarrassed by Poppy’s hippy-flavored van, it really didn’t bother me that much. What did bother me was her driving. I was much happier knowing I’d be behind the steering wheel of my own vehicle, thank you very much.