Page 52 of Fall
I didn’t even know she came here. Her bright blue eyes are full of life in the photo, and she looks like an exact replica of what I imagine Ivy would look like if she were here.
I quickly exit out of the image, desperate to avoid the emotional wave of sadness that is sure to come.
The next photograph is of my mom and dad sitting at the beach with an unfamiliar couple in Rose Bay. They’re all watching the sunset, laughing and happy. The couple is holding a baby while my parents are cuddled together with their hands on my mom’s very pregnant belly.
What the hell is this? I don’t know anyone who knew my parents, so how would anyone get these?
I move on to the next photo, holding on to the tethers of reality while fighting my anger. The picture is of my family hanging out in our backyard. My dad is cooking burgers on the grill. My mom is lounging on a chair next to him while my sister and I are in the pool. I trace their faces on the screen, unable to avoid the pang in my chest. Every single one of them are gone.
I close my eyes, remembering that day, and the immediate thought in my head is ‘how the hell did someone get this picture?’ I don’t remember anyone being there other than us.
I take a deep breath in, close the picture, and open the last one.
As soon as it opens, I close it, but not fast enough. I can’t unsee what I just saw. The image of my house on fire, knowing that my parents were burning inside. The emotional dam breaks, letting loose the tsunami in my soul. I would cry for them if I wasn’t so angry and so fucking tired.
After another minute of weathering the emotional storm, I push my feelings back into the black box, shut off my laptop, and head out to walk with Celeste.
It’s obvious that whoever the fuck keeps sending me this shit wants me to know that they know my secrets, and they want me to be afraid. Well, fuck them.
They’re going to have to try harder.
* * *
“Okay, Evie. How about we talk about the accusations you’ve made against faculty members? You do know it’s wrong to accuse people of things that they didn’t do, right? Let’s talk about why you chose to do that.” Dr. Lewis repositions herself behind her desk, waiting for me to reply.
“It’s never stopped anyone else from accusing me of things I didn’t do,” I sneer. “But rest assured, Doc, I didn’t just make it up. It’s the truth. Why no one seems to believe me is asinine, given the fact that I was there when Micah got shot, and IsawCoach Metson shoot Micah.”
My voice is harsher than she probably deserves, but Jesus, how many more times do I have to say it before someone will do something about the fact that the Stratham U soccer coach shot a student?
She scribbles something down on her notepad, subtly shaking her head, but changes the topic.
“And then there’s the issue of another event that happened last year. The one that was depicted in the nasty video that was being circulated.”
“What about it?” I snap, and she sighs.
“Why didn’t you come to me? I’ve seen you a number of times since then, and you never mentioned it.”
I turn my head and stare at her chocolate brown eyes. “I wasn’t aware that telling you every detail of my life was required. Do you want to know what I had for breakfast, too? Or how about how long I take a shower?”
She narrows her eyes at me for a moment before she schools her face.
“That won’t be necessary. I don’t need to know the remedial details of your day, Evie. But I do need to be made aware of situations in which you or others are in harm’s way.”
“Well, it’s an inconsequential detail that doesn’t warrant discussion. I wasn’t in harm’s way, and I didn’t hurt anyone, so you can mark it off as discussed and closed.”
Dr. Lewis continues to talk as I move my chair to be closer to the window and stare out to the world below, lost in my own thoughts. With images of my family swirling around in my head, there’s one thought that I can’t seem to get out of my mind—someone here knew my mother.
Time continues to tick by while I do my best to focus on the dark clouds that are heavy with rain. I missed my run this morning, so I’ll have to go to the gym later to release the aggression in my bones.
“Evelyn, you have to at least pretend to participate in your therapy sessions. Otherwise, they don’t count. What’s on your mind? I know you haven’t heard a word I said,” Dr. Lewis says, failing to mask her annoyance.
I shake out of my reverie and turn my eyes from the window with a sigh.
“What isn’t on my mind? The universe continues to pile on more shit than I want to handle.”
“And yet, here you are, still at this school and moving your feet forward. You’ve certainly proven that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”
I roll my eyes. “Just because I can survive it doesn’t mean I enjoy it. When will the universe give me a break?”