Page 71 of Alluring Darkness
“I told you that too.”
“You told me half of it. Why did your mother say that you’re messed-up in the head?”
“Because I am.”
The bedframe groans as Eli abruptly rolls over on his side and wraps his hand around my jaw. Electricity zaps through my spine at the fire I see in his eyes when he forces me to turn my head and meet his gaze.
“Answer the fucking question, Raina,” he growls.
I blink at him in surprise. He rarely calls me Raina. It’s almost alwaysprincess. Which means that, for some reason, he considers this a serious enough matter to use my actual name.
Any remaining traces of a fight bleed out of me, and I heave a deep sigh. “Fine.”
He releases my jaw, but he remains lying on his side, his eyes locked on mine. I can’t handle the intensity in them, so I turn my head back and stare up into the dark ceiling again.
“My father was a hitman,” I begin. Even though I have to choose my words carefully, since I can’t accidentally let it slip that I’m Connor’s sister, it still somehow feels like a relief to finally speak these words out loud. So I tilt my head back and meet his gaze again. “And he used to take me with him on his missions. Ever since I was a little kid, he brought me with him when he killed people.”
Eli’s dark brows furrow slightly. “Why?”
“Because it was the perfect cover. No one ever suspects that the nice man with the young girl next to him is an assassin.”
“So you grew up… watching your dad kill people?”
“For as long as I can remember.” I shrug. “My therapist says that it permanently affected my love map. Whatever that means. Or she said that, at least, before Dad had her assassinated too because I had told her that he was a hitman.”
He raises his eyebrows in surprise.
I shrug again. “That’s why I’m so fucked-up in the head.”
Anger flickers in his eyes. “You’re not fucked-up in the head.”
“Yes, I am. All my life, everyone around me has been telling me that I’m crazy. And I’m pretty sure there’s a reason for that.”
“You’re not crazy. You’re insane.”
A surprised laugh rips from my chest. Raising my eyebrows, I study his very serious face. “What?”
“You’re not crazy. You’re insane,” he repeats. “There’s a difference.”
“There is?”
“Yes. Being crazy means that you’re a nutjob who needs to be locked up. Being insane just means that you don’t play by the same rules as everyone else.”
My mouth drops open slightly, and I stare at him.
“And I would rather have someone insane in my corner than some boring fucking normal person.” His dark golden eyes sear into my soul. “Every fucking day of the week.”
Warmth spreads through my chest. It feels like tiny bursts of sparkling fireworks. I open my mouth to say something, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what.
As if suddenly realizing what he just said, Eli blinks and then gives his head a couple of quick shakes. “We should get some sleep.”
“I, uhm… yeah.”
The mattress shifts underneath me as he adjusts his position and reaches towards me.
Wrapping an arm over my chest, he pulls me closer until I’m lying flush against his warm half-naked body. With his arm holding me there, he drapes his leg over mine again, trapping me completely against his body.
But as I nestle deeper into his embrace, I don’t think I want to escape this time.