Page 17 of Lawless
Her eyes shutter and her breath catches, proving my words right.
“It shouldn’t though,” she whispers without looking me in the eye.
“Maybe, maybe not. I think we’re long past worrying about what should be right and wrong, don’t you?”
One of her shoulders lifts in the smallest shrug I’ve ever seen. “I shouldn’t have liked being there,” she confesses.
Stroking her cheek again, I tilt her face so she has little choice but to look up at me.
“To start with, I didn’t. All I wanted was you. I had these dreams about you bursting through the door to rescue me.”
“If I knew where you were, I would have,” I tell her honestly. Hell, I kinda fucking did. I just so happened to find her passed out in the kitchen instead of in the basement.
“I know.” She sighs.
Releasing her cheek, I grab her hand and lead her over to an outside swing seat. Darting back inside, I grab the blanket I spotted over the back of the couch.
Throwing it over her, I drop down beside her and tuck her into my side.
“I know how I reacted to begin with, but I need you to know that I’m not mad about it all.”
“Mav, you don’t—”
“Please, let me just speak a minute, yeah?” She nods, taking a sip of her coffee instead of responding. “Do l like that you’ve been working for Victor and spending time with his… associates?” She tenses beside me, preparing for my answer. “No, not one fucking bit. But also, I understand it. I know that he wouldn’t have given you any other choice.”
“He threatened you, Mav. I’d do anything he asked of me to protect you,” she blurts before I shut her down.
Guilt eats at me, just like it did the first time she told me that all of this was because of me.
Deep down, I knew it would happen. I took away their little toy; they were always going to do something to hurt me. To punish me. The beating I received after we announced our wedding and they discovered what I did was nowhere near enough punishment.
“And everything that happened under that roof, I understand that too. I might not know the details about you and JD, but I could see that he was important to you. That he helped you get through all of that in a way you desperately needed.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
“You don’t need an excuse, Doll. All I’ve ever done is try to be the perfect man for you, but one look at the two of you together, and I understood that I was never going to achieve that. Not while I was holding back something you craved so badly.”
“I’m fucked up,” she confesses quietly.
“No,” I state firmly. “You’re perfect.”
“Mav.”
“No arguing. I love you, Doll. I always have. It’s unconditional.”
“Same,” she agrees, making my heart seize in my chest.
Lifting my mug to my lips, she does the same, and we fall into a comfortable silence as we stare out at the ocean.
There are still so many things to say, so many questions to answer, and things to figure out. But for a moment, we’re just us.
Just a man and a woman. A husband and wife enjoying their morning coffee.
“What happens now, Mav? Where do we go from here?”
Well, if there was ever a loaded question…
“With us or—”