Page 83 of No Regrets

“Hey. How are you?” she asked, hesitantly.

“OK. I think...” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, unsure what to do.

“Yesterday must have been a rough day for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you.” Her voice was soft, wary.

“I’m sure it was hard for you too.” He held her gaze, those gorgeous brown eyes that he could lose himself in. Wanted to lose himself in.

“Yeah, it was. How are you? Really?” She put the ereader down, giving him her full attention.

He shrugged. “Still getting used to the fact that he’s gone. It’s weird, we didn’t see each other that much and yet now there’s this gaping void. I keep going to call him or text him.”

She nodded. “I get it.”

She did get it. Her father had died suddenly too, a heart attack. If anyone knew how he was feeling it was her.

“Fancy a beer?”

Her offer surprised him, but he recovered quickly.

“That would be great.” He smiled.

“Make yourself comfortable.” Kelly went inside to get the beer and he settled himself at one end of the swing, moving the cushion aside. What was it with women and throw cushions? She returned with the uncapped bottle and sat down at the other end, curling her legs back under her, raising her wine glass.

“To Matt.”

Dex raised his bottle. “To Pops.”

They sipped their drinks.

“Are you OK?” he asked. Of course, she wasn’t OK. She saw you with your tongue down another woman's throat.

“Yes. I’ve been mourning Matt in my own way, I guess. I have so many good memories of him. Of all of us.”

“Thirty-one years’ worth.”

She didn’t answer, instead taking a sip of wine. It was time to address the elephant in the room, or on the porch in this case.

“Kelly, Ryan told me you came to Jerry’s the other night. That you saw me.”

Her face paled and she set down the wine. He didn’t miss her trembling hand. “We don’t need to talk about that.”

“We do. I want to explain.”

“Dex, there’s nothing to explain. You’re a single man.”

“No. I’m not.”

She looked up, her eyes moist, and his heart ached because he had caused that.

“I know you told me I had to let you go. But I can’t. I love you too much. I—”

She held up a hand. “Stop. It’s good you’ve moved on, really.”

“Kelly, let me finish. Please.” He kept his voice soft, instinctively reaching for her hand. She stilled, but she didn’t pull away. “I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel, after what you’ve been through. But I love you. What you saw the other night...shit...I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to make excuses. I was a little drunk, lonely, and I'd had my ass handed to me by Sam and the team. The woman practically threw herself at me and initially I said no, but then... fuck... I kissed her. I don’t know what you saw, but I stopped it. It didn’t go anywhere.”

“Why not?” she whispered.

“Because she wasn't you. All I could think of was you.”