Page 61 of Beautiful Trauma
I heard the front door close before I registered the fact I was asleep in bed with a very naked Cee. Sliding out of the bed, I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt without disturbing her. I was beyond relieved to only see Silas when I did the walk of shame into the kitchen.
He looked at me quizzically. “I don’t think I want to know.” He shook his head and walked to the living room.
“Is Elle here?” I asked, sitting in the chair opposite him.
“She’ll be here later. She didn’t think you’d leave if someone wasn’t here.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah. I mean, Cee’s a grownup, but I don’t know. She’s… I guess she’s okay to be alone. What the fuck do I know?” I scrubbed my hands on my face and leaned back into the chair.
“I can’t imagine losing Elle. I’d probably be a fucking mess, too.”
I chuckled. “Dude, you were a mess when she married Mason. Eli’s dead. I get that she’s a mess. I just don’t know if she’s such a mess that we need to worry about her doing something stupid.”
“For what it’s worth, man, when Kyle died, I just really needed to fuck. Grief looks different to different people. She’s sleeping hers off.”
“Uh, yeah.” I wanted to talk about this, but I absolutely didn’t want to admit to screwing a woman who just lost the love of her life. Something about the way I responded mixed with slipping out of her room led Silas to ask the question I didn’t want to answer.
“So, you and her?” He gave me a knowing look.
I blew out a forceful breath. “I swear to you, it wasn’t my idea. In fact, I tried to discourage it. How fucked up am I to do that? Jesus.” I ran a hand through my hair. “She asked me to sleep, just sleep, in the bed with her. I woke up with her on my dick.”
Silas choked on his coffee. “More information than I needed, but if she initiated it, don’t beat yourself up about going with it. I think it would’ve been worse if you rejected her.”
And yet shame still flooded my cheeks. “Mm. Can’t say that I was thinking clearly.”
“Just be careful. This has all the makings of a disaster. Even if she doesn’t come back to working with the band, her sister is the band’s manager. One or both of them might just break your fucking legs.”
I nodded in agreement. “I hear you.”
“Get outta here before Elle shows up and figures out you banged her sister. Your guilt is written all over your face.”
I blew out a deep breath. “I should let her break my legs.”
He just shook his head. “That won’t help anyone. Go.”
“We’re supposed to leave in a week. Have we worked out how this is going?” I heard Connor asking Elle when I walked into the practice space in his house later that afternoon.
“I need to be there. The shows are sold out, which is a good thing, but someone has to control the chaos. Ah, there’s Sergio.” Elle looked at me. “The chaos himself.”
“I’m not that bad.” I grabbed water from the fridge and sat down in a chair, trying not to let the pang of guilt that hit show on my face.
“Tom and Matteo did get after it on our last trip,” Connor laughed. Elle looked over to Silas for his opinion, but he just shrugged in apology.
“So, we’re all leaving Cee in a week?” I asked. “I assumed you’d be staying behind.”
“Well, I was staying behind while Eli was sick, but now I’m not sure it makes sense. Things are crazy right now, and I can’t manage as well from home.”
“What about Mish or Silas?” I was concerned, and it showed.
“Maybe she and I can split the time? We’ve got three weeks, then a few days off for Thanksgiving. We can see how things are going then?” Silas offered.
“No,” Elle said plainly. “I’m not doing this alone. I need you.”
“I’m a shit manager. That’s why I was fired, and you were brought on board.” He kissed her cheek.
“She can just come with us,” Elle decided.
I nearly choked on my water. “That’s a horrible idea. She’s barely getting out of bed.”