Page 99 of Beautiful Trauma

“You still in love with her after all this shit?” He screwed up his face.

“It’s worse. I don’t know how, but this feeling… it just gets more and more overwhelming. I think about her all the time. When she’s around, I can’t help myself. I have to touch her.”

He shook his head. “You gotta give her space. For both of your sanity.”

I let out a heavy breath. “I know. Fuck, I tried, but the second she walked in that room last week, I was a goner.”

“I get it. I just think you’re playing with fire. Not only did she just lose someone, she comes with a kid. Are you sure waiting around for her to be ready is what you want? That’s what’s happening here, isn’t it? You’re waiting around for her?”

“She’s better off without me. I know that. So is Wyatt. But I’d wait years for the chance to have them. I’m that sure.”

It was his turn to take a deep breath. “I hope it works out. I really do. But if it’s too much having her on the road with us, let me know and we’ll make other arrangements.”

I nodded my understanding, but there was no way I wanted less time with her. I craved more.

I spent that night staring at the ceiling again. Around one a.m., my phone buzzed with a text.

Cee: You still up?

Me: Yeah. Just reading. Why are you up? It’s late.

Cee: My body is still on tour time.

I needed to see her. I called her using the video chat app. The second her face appeared on the screen, I relaxed. “How’s Wyatt?”

“Oh, you know, he bounced all over me for all of ten minutes before telling me all about how much he loves Candi.”

“Ouch,” I replied. “He doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you too,” I added for reassurance.

Cee laughed. “I know. When he’s with her, he tells her how much he wants me. Kid just wants it all. I told him I was with you, and he was pissed that he didn’t get to see you.”

“You will have to let him video chat with me. You have my schedule.” I winked into the camera.

“Did you let him play the drums? Because he told me he wants to do that again.”

“Yes. As soon as I get back, he and I have a date with some drums. Screw politics. That kid is meant to be a rock star.”

We talked for a while and then I suggested we listen to an audio book together. Against my better judgment, I put on one of the smutty romance novels. I watched as she snuggled down into her blankets and I did the same.

* * *

Also against my better judgment, I called her every night, and most days too, claiming it was so I could say hi to Wyatt. Despite talking to her every day, I was desperate to see her by the time she was back on tour with us.

Fifty-Nine

Cee

“Question.” Mish sat down beside me at the table in the green room. I had just gotten in for my second round of the tour and was exhausted after a day of delayed flights.

“Shoot.”

“You and Serge?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Me and Serge, what?”

“Are you guys?” She fidgeted.

“Friends, yes.” I knew what she wanted to ask, but I was going to make her work for it.