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Sounds awful, but I say nothing. Max goes to the cart and swipes a potato chunk off the plate and pops it in his mouth.
“Yum,” he says, reaching for a fork.
“Lily, would you mind if I had a word in private with Max?” Lucas says.
“Not at all,” I chirp. “I should get ready anyway.”
I scurry into the bathroom, feeling as though I’ve done something wrong. This is not the way I want to begin my first race day with the team.
Chapter Twenty-Two
MAX
“Seriously, Max. Why are you torturing yourself?” Lucas stares at me.
He’s not asking in an accusatory way, nor does he seem pissed. He appears genuinely curious, similar to when people wonder why others climb Everest or tame lions in the circus.
“Sleeping next to her helps my performance. That’s all. I wake up feeling refreshed.”
Lucas is holding a cup of coffee and pacing around the small living room, the tiny space between the coffee table and the TV console. I’m at the little table in the corner, eating my bland scrambled tofu and wishing it was a giant bread roll with marmalade. When I leave this sport, I’m probably going to gain fifty pounds eating every carb in sight.
“I don’t doubt that you feel that way, or that you’re refreshed. But this isn’t a long-term solution. What’s going to happen when her father returns? When she’s no longer with the race circuit?”
I lift a shoulder into a shrug and swallow. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
That’s not a lie. I haven’t. I’m the kind of guy to take things as they come, not worry too much about the future. It’s always worked for me. Now that Lily’s back in my life, it’s almost easier to forget that I was ever angry at her, although those feelings sit uncomfortably below the surface, even as I am loving every second of being near her.
“Your top priority is your mental health. When she left you before—”
“Shh. Keep it down. She’s in the other room.”
Lucas comes and sits with me at the table. “When she left you before, you were in pretty bad shape. Thank goodness the breakup happened at the end of the season.”
“I’m a different man now.”
“Are you, though? She’s like your kryptonite.”
I take a sip of a green smoothie and grimace. Why is he bringing up the one topic that gets me worked up on race day? “Can we not discuss this now? I need to prepare for the race.”
He grumbles an okay, and I shove everything to the back of my mind. The terrible food, the discussion with Lucas, the complicated situation with Lily. On race day it’s essential to compartmentalize, to deny, to focus on one thing: the driving.
It’s time to get into the zone.
Chapter Twenty-Three
LILY
The second Max speeds past the checkered flag everyone in the control room erupts in cheers. Jack high-fives me—someone must’ve told him about my aversion to hugs—and I do a little dance. Apparently, it wasn’t only Jack who was told; word must have gotten around that I don’t like physical displays of affection because the guys give me little pats on the back or shoulder squeezes instead of the big bear hugs they give one another.
Even that would normally make my skin crawl, but for some reason, the win makes everything around me positively sparkle. I’d forgotten this feeling, of being part of a winning team. Of the sheer rush of anticipation and exhilaration when a driver crosses that finish line.
I don’t, however, go into the pit to greet Max when he brings the car to the garage. Even though I’m elated, I don’t want to risk any public displays of affection with him. Not after sleeping next to him for two nights and especially not after our scorching kiss this morning.
Neither one of us can be trusted at this moment to not lock lips, and that’s exactly the kind of thing the worldcannotsee during my first race. So I stay in the garage, congratulating every member of the team who wanders through.
“Fucking amazing job, Lily,” Jack says to me, his hands on his hips.
“It was all your doing. I had nothing to do with any of this. You’re incredible. The team’s incredible. Thank goodness the engine fix worked and your tire strategy was brilliant.”