Page 76 of Burn
I scrunch up my face, unsure of how to feel about this. Not only do I not want to give up Max so soon, but I also don’t want my father pushed over the edge. “The doctor’s aware of Papa’s line of work? His isn’t a desk job.”
Mum stares at me. “Do you think your father can go five minutes without mentioning his team? Hell, Lily, he gave the doctor VIP tickets for the Mexico City race.”
I blow out a sigh.
“Honey, I don’t want you to worry. Where’s Max now?”
“He’s at a charity autograph event here in Miami. We flew in together and we’re planning on spending a couple of days in Quebec together before we go to Montreal. He’s arranged a cabin in the woods.”
“Ooh, fun. Let me know where, because I probably know of a good yoga teacher. I’ve been several times.”
“Mum, we won’t be doing yoga.”
Mum giggles and I stab at a tomato sitting atop my salad. “I really, really like Max. More than like. But all these issues are keeping us apart.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re apart if you’re going on vacation together.”
“Keeping us from being anything but friends with benefits, I mean. And we’re not vacationing. We’re spending a couple of nights in a cabin.”
She purses her lips, obviously trying not to laugh. Mum can see right through my crap. “Other than the team issue, which will be resolved soon, what’s keeping you apart?”
I snort, as if the answer’s obvious. “His career. His fame. The never-ending spotlight of Formula World. I don’t want that life. This past week has been a lot. I’m doing it for Papa, but I don’t want to live the life of a race-car driver’s wife. Max is nowhere near retirement. He’s at the top of his game.”
“Being a driver’s wife isn’t so bad, honey. Try being a team owner’s wife.”
“Is there any difference? Also, you’re an extreme extrovert, and you parlayed it into something you love. I also want to do something I love, but more low-key. Ideally a job similar to what I had, but with less sexual harassment.”
“Max won’t be a driver forever.”
“True,” I grumble.
“So why don’t you ask him what he has planned for the future? And if it includes you?”
That’s one conversation I haven’t thought of, partially because I fear that he only wants me temporarily, like all the other women he’s slept with since me. “That’s the other thing. We haven’t been back together long. I don’t know if he wants anything permanent. Given his track record, I’m guessing not.”
“It’s not like you’ve been celibate since him.”
“True,” I muttered.
“Didn’t you say you and Max slept together several nights?” She looks at me suspiciously, as if my story isn’t holding water.
“Several nights together. We haven’t had sexeverynight. Jeez.”
Her eyebrow quirks up, and I add, “It’s a long story. But we’ve only been together-together a few nights.”
“You two are adults, doing adult things in bed, so have an adult conversation. Simple as that.” She tucks into her salad and glances around the room, indicating that she’s finished with the conversation. “Or maybe it’s not so simple, because you still haven’t figured out if you can handle life on the track. That’s up to you to figure out.”
I eat in silence and wonder. Mum’s right, of course. I hate when she is. But she’s crystallized the real dilemma: Is my desire for Max greater than my dislike for the Formula World life?
Chapter Thirty-Three
LILY
After Mum and I eat, we head back upstairs so I can say good-bye to Papa. He wants to know if I’m headed immediately to Montreal, and I hedge.
“I’ve been invited to a cabin in Quebec for a couple of days.”
“So cryptic.” He frowns. “Is it with a man?”