Page 28 of Killer (Project)

I tried to fight against the numbness that was radiating throughout my body. My lips wouldn’t move, and my eyes refused to open. Panic seized me. Was my chest moving with every intake of breath I took? How could I be here but not be here?

“Diesel was a great kid, a great person…” I could hear my dad’s voice. He was speaking at my funeral. Squeezing my eyes tighter, trying to push past this… My mind went blank. I could feel time moving and when I finally popped my eyes open, I was lying in a hospital bed. My parents were talking about me.

“He’s out of control, Jane. He won’t let the nurses care for him, and I know he said he wanted to get better, but it’s too late. The cancer has spread to other parts of his body.” My eyes scanned the room. My mom clasped her hands together, her eyes roaming over me.

“I just don’t want to give up on him. I don’t want him to die if there is a chance he could come out of this on the other end. He’s our only child.” My mother’s face was red and streaked with tears. I wanted to reach out to her and comfort her. I had never truly hated my parents. I was just annoyed that they felt they could force their beliefs on me. They just didn’t want to lose me, just as I didn’t want to lose Maggie.

MAGGIE!!! I screamed out, thrashing about the bed. I needed to get to her, to explain what was happening.

“Then it’s settled, we give him to the corporation. They can use him and better understand his behavior. He’s already a lost cause.”

No, I’m not! I screamed the words, yet they couldn’t be heard. What was happening? Pain slammed into my head as I was transported to another memory.

“I just wanted to be able to say goodbye. I just wanted to be able to hold you one last time. To tell you that the love you had given me will make me search for a cure in your name. For the rest of my life, you will live on in my heart. You’re mine.” Tears formed in my eyes but never spilled over.

There was no wetness seeping from my eyes, no heart beating in my chest, or breath leaving my lips.

No!!!! What was happening? I couldn’t lose her. I did all this for her. I sought out going to the hospital for treatments for her. She had given me a reason to live. For the first time in my life, I wanted to see tomorrow.

My chest heaved as something inside my head clicked. My eyes fluttered closed, and then opened again. I could feel warmth from the inside, warming me all over. Starting in my arms and coursing through my entire body. I felt something deeper than rage and anger. I felt… it was a foreign emotion, one I hadn’t felt in years—love?

I looked down at the woman in my arms.Maggie.A sigh escaped my lips. She had found me. She had to have known all along. But, why wouldn’t she tell me? At this moment in time, her reasons for keeping quiet no longer mattered because now I remembered. I remembered everything that was Diesel and Mags. Everything that was she and I. I knew who I was, what I once was to her, and what I needed to do to get us the fuck out of here.

sixteen

maggie

When I awoke, my mouth was dry, and my neck felt as if it had been snapped. Deep warmth engulfed me, and I almost didn’t want to move. I could feel a heartbeat under my hands and deep breaths blowing against my face.

Killer. The memories of what had happened came back to me, and immediately, I regretted having run from him. I desperately wanted Killer to remember me, but I was tired of feeling trapped. I was scared and alone, and I just wanted a way out. Therefore, when I was given the chance, I ran… I didn’t realize how dangerous that one decision was.

When I forced my eyes to open, I was met with a shade of blue eyes I hadn’t seen in years. Somehow, some way, I knew those eyes belonged to the man who I had loved all those years ago and still loved today.

“Diesel?” I said his name in questioning slightly afraid it would trigger something inside him if I were wrong. With one look, I knew it was Diesel. I couldn’t believe he was here and Killer was gone. My heart rate skyrocketed as he smiled at me.

“Mags.” My name coming from his lips caused me to grip him. I had to feel him to make sure he was truly here. He still looked like Killer, but he wasn’t. His smile was genuine, his voice calm and soft. This was him. It wasn’t a lie or my mind playing jokes on me. He was truly here. He had found his way back to me through the rage, hate, anger, and the need to kill.

“This is really you? You’re here? Are you going to disappear?” I asked eagerly, my words coming out in a rapid rush. I didn’t know how to handle the emotions that were running through me. Instead, I sat up in his lap and wrapped my arms around him.

“This is really me. I’m here and I remember everything.” Guilt could be heard heavily in his words as he ran his hand down my hair. I never stopped to think about what would happen if Diesel came back if he remembered everything. If he would be able to handle the guilt of all he had done. Most of which I had no idea of.

“God… Thank you God,” I cried out, burying my face in his neck. He smelt of sweat, man, and home. He smelt like everything I ever wanted and needed.

“I missed you so fucking much. I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for hurting you. For talking down to you,” he whispered into my ear and then nuzzled into my neck. It was as if I had never lost him. As if time had never separated us from one another.

“Shhh… It’s okay. You’re here now. I did all this for you. We found each other again. Everything is going to be okay now,” I mumbled. We had things that we needed to talk about. I needed to tell him things that he should know. I wanted answers to what happened to him, but somewhere deep inside of me, I knew everything would be okay because we had each other again.

“I remember it all. The funeral, the hospital. I remember my parents faking my death and giving me to this fucking place to be turned into a guinea pig. I remember everything.” His voice broke, and so did something else in me. Nothing else mattered in this second. I knew that death could very well happen. I knew if someone wanted to, they could hurt us both.

Where we were wasn’t important right now though. It was who we were.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. We have to stay strong.” I soothed him. Seeing the faraway look in his eyes scared me. I was afraid I would lose him at any second.

“It will be.” His chest heaved against mine as he eased me off me and came to a standing position. Even the way he looked and carried himself was different. His eyes scanned our surroundings, and I wanted to ask him what he was looking for, but he answered me before I could cough out the words.

“Cameras. They have them here. I know they do.” He growled. With jerky movements, I made it to my feet and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans.

“Stop trying to find them. It’s not going to do us any good. We need to focus on getting out of here.” I approached him calmly, keeping my voice neutral. I was two feet away from him when he whirled around on me. His eyes were still the same, and when he reached out and wrapped his hand into my hair, I knew he wasn’t going to go anywhere.