Page 107 of Dirty Plans
I’ve always loved her.
I did. I knew it.
Hell,Calknew it.
But I lied to myself to protect my stupid heart because I knew someone as amazing as Lily wouldn’t be waiting around for me. She would have gone on to live her life—as she should have.
I lean forward and run my hands over my face.
What a mess.
Shaking my head, I reach out for my phone to shut it off. Instead, I fumble with the buttons and it shifts to a new playlist.
Instead of a song, the opening to the 1938 radio broadcast ofWar of the Worldsstarts playing.
My heart stutters its beats and I stare at the screen, dumbfounded.
When I came across the broadcast twelve years ago, YouTube was still in its infancy. But still, I was desperate to save it. If I ever had the chance to see Lily again—if we ever became friends again—I wanted to show it to her.
I’ve listened to it myself at least a dozen times throughout the years because it always made me feel closer to her.
The night before my family moved us to Colorado, I had snuck out of my bedroom so I could spend one more night under the stars with her. I’d hid blankets and risked being grounded for life. But it was worth it.
I told her that night about the broadcast and her eyes had lit up, just like I knew they would. That night, I’d wished so hard that I had a magical way of being able to share it with her.
I snicker under my breath.
Funnily enough, the magic I hoped for wasn’t far off. The internet came along and YouTube was invented. We only missed it by six years.
A zap ofknowingcourses through me, forcing me to my feet as a plan starts to form.
What if …
What if I shared it with her? I could recreate that night, laying out under the stars … It could remind her of the connection we’ve always shared. How much we meant to each other before. I could explain how much she still means to me.
Quinn had said last night that I should win her over.
And while I wasn’t convinced last night, I’d be crazy if I didn’t admit a part of me wanted to. Even if it’s wrong.
Even if I’m stepping on another man’s toes. A man whohasn’t even triedto show Lily how special she is.
Even if I desperately want her to end her marriage so I can call her mine.
Would this kind of a gesture be the way to show her what’s been in me all this time?
I bite my lip, thinking it through, because, shit … now I’m not so sure.
The last thing I want to do is come across like an insensitive ass—or move too fast for her. All I know is, everything inside me is screaming that we belong together.
We always have.
It’s obvious now.
But will she see it that way?
I rake my hands through my hair as I wear a path on my deck.
What if she sees this kind of gesture as manipulative? Or worse, as an attempt to capitalize on a vulnerable moment in her marriage? Sharing something so intimate, so connected to our shared past might just push her further away.