Page 66 of Expecting in Oceans
“Very exciting,” Eli said. He patted Istil’s hand and gathered up his bag. “I’m going to see if Theo needs a hand outside. Need anything else?”
Istil shook his head. “No, I’ll be out there shortly.”
Eli left my office and closed the door behind him.
“How are you feeling about today?” I asked Istil.
“Excited. Terrified. Do you think Thran would mind if I just disappeared for a while?”
“I think he’d mind.”
Istil smiled wryly. “Damn. There’s no backing out, is there?”
“No, there isn’t,” I said.
About a week ago, Visir had told us he’d invited Thran to visit, along with several of the other dragons from their flight, on the pretense that we were holding a celebration. It was time for Istil to share the big news with them.
“Are you okay?” Istil asked me.
I adjusted my glasses. “Of course.”
“You’re nervous,” he said. “You’re doing that thing with your glasses.”
“Slightly,” I said.
A lot hinged on this meeting, and I was worried it could end with Istil’s decision to leave T’Wanu Na after the baby was born.
And I didn’t want to lose him.
“Afraid Thran is gonna kick the shit out of you for getting his precious cousin pregnant?” he said with a grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
“Thank you,” I said. “That makes me feel much better.”
“What is it?” Istil asked.
I shook my head. “Just nerves. I want things to go well.”
Istil placed his hand on my arm, and his tone became soft and serious. “I just want you to know that even though I’m positively shitting myself over sharing this with everyone, I am thrilled about it. I have no shame about our baby. And while their feelings are important to me, they’ll never change how I feel about being pregnant with your child.”
I stared at Istil, trying to summon a response that captured the magnitude of what I felt at that moment. Hearing that from him was so unexpected and so moving—yet all I could say was, “Thank you.”
I squeezed his hand, trying to convey my feelings through my touch. Istil nodded to me, but I wondered whether or not he’d really understood.
Why was it so hard for me to express the way I felt?
* * *
Istil and I went to the center courtyard, where Kai, Visir, Theo, and Eli were already waiting around the waterfall. Visir kneeled at the edge of the pool, and with a steady rumbling, the water parted into a pathway down to the gate, and the waterfall’s flow split in half as if blocked by an invisible awning.
“Wouldn’t it be funny to make Thran swim out of the gate?” Istil said with a nervous chuckle. “I’d get a good laugh out of that.”
I quietly put my hand on the small of his back, hoping to keep him centered, but he moved away and began to pace around.
“Gods, you’re makingmenervous,” said Theo.
“Calm,” Visir said, looking up at Istil. “Breathe.”
Istil planted himself down on a bench beneath the shade of some large fronds, and he yanked one down and hid behind it like a curtain.