Page 1 of Wed to Krampus

Chapter One

Krampus

They say you’re not ready to be in a relationship until you’re good on your own. Who says this? Humans. In their books.

I was reading a lot lately. Books about relationships, marriage, loving yourself before you could love another. Self-concept. A lot of self-concept work.

The chapter I was reading as the sun set was about self-concept once more, and I had to put the book down and rub my tired eyes. Maybe it was an obligatory chapter in these modern dating books, but it was the one chapter that never resonated with me. I stood up and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. As the droplets clung to the long hair on my cheeks, I looked in the mirror. How could I work on my self-concept when I knew that the monster I saw in front of me was utterly undesirable? Unlovable.

And why was I reading dating books written by humans when I knew full well that I would never date anyone, human or not?

These days, I avoided going into the town at the foot of the mountain. It was a town where humans lived, and even though they accepted me to some extent, I could see in their eyes that I frightened them. Every time I went into the grocery store or the bookstore, and the tiny humans rushed to get away from me, I felt an ache in my chest. I felt so alone, and sometimes all I wanted was to have someone to talk to. Nothing serious. Just small talk, maybe about the weather, about how this year we were going to have one of the harshest winters in the history of Alia Terra. Talk to someone other than my dog, Frost, and my horse, Snowdrop.

Speaking of Frost, he was snoring in front of the fireplace, lazily spread out on the pelts that covered the floor. And Snowdrop, outside, in the barn, was waiting for me to feed him. Time to get over myself and proceed with the evening routines.

I dried my face with a towel, then walked to the front door and put on my boots and winter coat. Outside, it had stopped snowing, but it had snowed all day, and I would have to clear a path from the house to the barn. The second Frost heard me open the door, he jumped to his feet, gave two barks, as if to say, “Wait for me!”, and clumsily ran to join me in the freezing evening air.

Frost was huge, and it had nothing to do with how many times a day I fed him. I’d never seen a dog like him. His fur was dirty white and clumpy in many places, no matter how often I brushed him. I’d found him in the woods when he was a puppy and taken him home. My guess was that someone in town had abandoned him, taken him as far into the woods as they could, hoping he wouldn’t find his way back. Their loss, my gain. Frost was a wonderful dog. And a great listener. Seeing how I lived alone, I talked to him a lot.

I grabbed the shovel that I’d left against the side of the house a few hours earlier and cleared a path toward the other soul that lived here with me. Snowdrop was my horse, and he was young and strong. I’d bought him in town many years ago, when my previous horse was too old to pull the sleigh anymore. The man who sold him to me was reluctant. He didn’t want to give me Snowdrop, even though I said I would pay him double. He didn’t say it out loud, but I knew what he was thinking. Was I going to eat poor Snowdrop? I assured him that was not my intention, which made him feel embarrassed enough that he eventually sold me the horse.

Doing business with humans when I looked the way I looked was hard. Not that they weren’t used to seeing monsters. On Alia Terra, humans and monsters lived in peace, usually in separate communities. They only mingled when they had to. The problem was that they’d never seen a monster like me before, and they never would. Because I’d seen no one like me either. I was the only one of my kind.

Once the path was cleared, I filled a bucket with water and carried it into the barn. The barn was heated, so Snowdrop was as comfortable as possible during the winter. I would’ve loved to have more animals around, maybe like a proper farm, but it was cold in these mountains. There was snow for most of the year, and the winters were merciless.

“Hello, buddy. You’re not lonely, are you?” The horse grunted softly. “No, of course not. That’s me. I’m the lonely one.”

I shook my head and gave Snowdrop his food, then took a brush and started brushing him slowly. Frost greeted Snowdrop, then paced around for a minute, trying to find a suitable spot to plop himself down. He knew that once we were done in the barn, we were going back to the house, and then it was dinner time for him.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I? And I should just stop.” I was talking to both of them, though Storm had closed his eyes and was on his way to dreamland. Snowdrop was eating his hay. “Reading books written by humans. I would read books written by my kind, but are there any? I don’t know. I will never know. Love and relationships, and dating, and marriage. What was I thinking buying those books at the bookstore?! You should’ve seen the look on the cashier’s face. I will never date a nice, pretty, kind woman, so why am I lying to myself? There’s no one like me, and the humans in town fear me. The women especially, and the children. Last time I went to stock up for the month, a baby in a stroller saw me and started crying. I tried to smile at him, but I only made it worse, and his mother cursed at me and rushed out of the store.”

I sighed deeply at the memory.

“I’m a lost cause.”

I’d been going to the same stores in town to stock up on food and books, but the townspeople still hadn’t gotten used to me.

“I will forever be alone.”

At that, Snowdrop turned his head and looked at me with one dark eye. I stopped brushing him and met his gaze.

“Unless... What do you mean by that?” Of course, the horse couldn’t speak. It was all in my head. “Unless I go to the Temple. Right. I told you once, and I’ll tell you again: I don’t want to force a poor woman to marry me.”

Snowdrop returned to his hay, and I shook my head and patted him on the back. That was Frost’s cue that the brushing was done, and we were ready for dinner.

I said goodnight to Snowdrop and once again reminded him that the Temple was not an option. Back at the house with Frost, I took off my boots and my coat, and followed him into the kitchen. I started preparing dinner for both of us as he watched me with interest from under the kitchen table. He knew to stay out of my way if he wanted his food in a timely manner.

“What do you think, Frost? Should I finish that book? Maybe I can skip the chapter about self-concept.” Frost let out a bark to tell me he was listening, but that the choice was mine. At least, that was how I interpreted it. “Do you know what humans say about relationships? That they’re only good when two people who love themselves come together. And that you first have to be on your own, be with your own thoughts, and then you can look for someone. I’ve been on my own since forever. I’m with my own thoughts all day. And most nights, when I can’t sleep.” Frost let out a growl. “I know, I know. It bothers you when I pace the floor at night.” I sighed as I watched the stew cook on the stove. “What do you think about Snowdrop’s idea? Because of the agreement between monsters and humans, the Temple should find me a match. If there is such a thing for me. A perfect match. Can you imagine? A woman who is my soul mate. I can’t.”

Once the food was done, I let it cool. Meanwhile, I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down in an old, creaky chair. Frost emerged from under the table and placed his gigantic head on my knee. I started rubbing him behind the ear.

“But what if I go to the Marriage Temple and speak to the priest? I don’t have to let them take my blood for the DNA test. I can have a casual conversation with the priest and ask him what he thinks. I hear the priests who serve at the Marriage Temples all over Alia Terra are wise and have seen plenty. Maybe he knows something about my species. Maybe he’s seen others like me. He could give me advice that I can’t find in these dating books.”

Frost barked once. I got up to pour his food into his bowl. I glanced at the stew that I’d made for myself, but I wasn’t hungry. I topped my glass with the last of the wine in the bottle.

“If nothing else, I’ll get out of the house a little and talk to someone other than you and Snowdrop. Someone who can say something back.” I snorted. “All right. It’s decided. Tomorrow, we’re going to the Marriage Temple. It’s just outside of town, and you can come with me and Snowdrop. Are you excited?”

Frost barked again, and I scratched his head before scooping some stew onto a plate. I felt better already, though it was silly to think the Marriage Temple could help me. At least it was something to look forward to. Most of my days were dull. Tomorrow would be a little different.