Page 150 of A Second Dawn

I’m not ready to fess up about the depth of the connection between the three of us—I don’t think it’d go down well.

I take a deep, steadying breath and let it out slowly. Crap, I’m so mad, my hands are quivering.

I wasn’t sure what Aiden’s reaction would be. So far he’s always been level-headed and calm, but he was losing it in there.

The sound of something hitting the wall makes me jump. Aiden is angry… and he’s hurting. Shit, now all I feel is sympathy… and guilt because I’m the reason. Tears prick at my eyes, and I try to blink them away furiously.

Aiden is right. My emotions are all over the place. I need to talk to him again. I can’t leave things as they are. But not now. We both need to calm down.

The truth is, I didn’t get angry with Aiden for questioning my decision. He made a valid point… several, actually. If I was in his position, I’d have raised the same issues, and just as vigorously.

No, I got angry because his words hit their target. They highlighted my own doubts and showed that Tiero and I have a long way to go to establish trust between us.

Trust… it used to come so easy for me. Now, I seem to second-guess everything.

If I want a future with Tiero, I need to be able to trust him. But that will only come with time, when he shows me he’s true to his word. In the meantime, we have to start somewhere. So, as crazy as it seems to the rest of the world, I chose to believe him when he says he’ll find a way out of the Mafia, so we can live a relatively normal life.

Still, my insecurities have flared up.

I grip the handrail on the cabin porch tighter as I look over the frozen ground. I can’t say I see much, my thoughts too caught up in the issues Ade raised.

What if he’s right, and Tiero takes me back to Sicily? Once we’re back at the mansion, will it be life as it was after he kidnapped me?

What would I do then? I’d be trapped forever. And I’d have to worry about the safety of my child and what he or she will turn into living in the Mafia world.

Contemplating this makes me feel even more guilty that I walked out on Aiden.

His words weren’t meant to hurt me, but to shake me up and make me think things through.

And what do I do? I get angry and leave.

Argh!

I turn to look at the door, but I can’t bring myself to go back inside to set things right. Later… when we’ve both cooled off.

It shouldn’t be a problem for me. The cold air bites at my skin.

Tightening my scarf around my neck, I take a careful step down the frosty stairs.

My thoughts linger on the man who’s hurting inside the cabin. He deserves so much better.

Without warning, my footing gives way, propelling my body backward.

I panic and wildly reach out for something to hold onto. But the handrail is out of reach.

Instinctively, I try to protect my stomach in a futile attempt to cushion the fall that’s rapidly unfolding.

With a heart-stopping jolt, my body collides with the wooden steps.

Jarring vibrations travel through me. Pain erupts in my left arm and through my lower back like a surge of fire. A guttural cry escapes me as I crumple against the cold surface.

Fear and pain are disorientating me.

Peanut!

What if this fall has harmed her?

Tears well up in my eyes and spill over as I cradle my abdomen and my throbbing arm.