Page 161 of A Second Dawn

When we come up for air and I lie back down on his chest, I ask, “What’s your most cherished memory of your mother?”

Tiero doesn’t have to think hard about his answer. His smile is genuine as he remembers their time together.

“Every Saturday morning, mama was allowed to take me and Mateo to the beach for an hour.”

That gets my attention and I lift my head off his chest.

“What do you mean,was allowed to?”

What kind of upbringing did Tiero have when his own mother needed permission to do things with her children?

It makes me realize how little I know about him and his life. But he’s opening up and letting me in. It’s the first step to being able to trust him, right?

Chapter Forty-Three

Gualtiero

Ellastiffensinmyarms when I mention mama had to ask permission to take us to the beach. Is she worried it will be the same for her?

If we were to remain in my world, it would. Keeping Ella and our child safe is my priority. Perhaps for the first time, I understand papa’s reluctance to let us leave the compound.

“Leaving the house always carries risks when you are a De Marco and especially if you’re the heir. When we were little, papa was always minimizing our exposure by keeping us home as much as possible. Mama was happy to abide by that if it meant we were safe.

“After mama died, Saturdays were hard to get through. So papa filled them with training us for our position.”

“You told me you were twelve when your dad started taking you along to meetings. What other training was there?” Ella asks.

There are things about my childhood I never want Ella to know. But I also don’t want to lie to her.

My focus has to be forward, not backward. So I choose my words carefully.

“My training began the moment I was born. From when I was little, I was taught to always be fully aware of my surroundings. Weapons were a natural play thing. To you this sounds perverse, but preparing me for the life that lay ahead, giving me the skills to survive and thrive, it was one of the ways my father showed his love.”

Ella shudders in my arms. “How old were you when… when you first…?” she can’t even finish the question.

I was fourteen when I took the life of a man for the first time. He deserved it. Not only did he betray my family, but he abducted young girls to sell them to the sex trade. It’s something our family has always abhorred.

But pulling that trigger and watching a body fall limp… it stays with you forever.

“Angel, I don’t want to lie to you. But I also don’t want that shit about me in your head. Please… you know it happened. It’s in the past. Let’s leave it there,” I say gently.

Her thinking of me as a murderer, even though I am, has my stomach in knots.

“Okay,” she whispers, honoring my plea. “So what did you do with your mom at the beach?” she asks, changing the subject, and I’m grateful for it.

“We would play in the water and build sandcastles… all the things regular kids get to do. And afterward we’d get gelato. We could pick any flavor we liked. It was the highlight of every week.”

The memories of how it all ended still hurt.

“The house was so quiet after mama’s death. No laughter, no singing. She loved to sing. It made everything brighter.

“While she was alive, our home was filled with warmth. Without her, it was cold and empty.

“Even now, when I return to my childhood home, I expect her to come down the stairs, smiling at me. It hits me as much as it did when I was eight that she’s gone.”

My hands move slowly up and down Ella’s back, relishing in being able to hold her again.

“You know, I understand better now what my father went through after losing her. He was a shell of his former self.