Page 34 of City of Salvation
“Because I don’t want to be someone’s burden, Ryan,” I said, my voice laced with irritation. “I want to handle my own shit.”
Ryan leaned in closer, her tone sincere. “Nikki, it’s not about you being a burden. It’s about having people watching your back. That isn’t a sign of weakness.”
I looked away, still feeling a sense of frustration. “I get that, but it feels like I’m losing my independence, my freedom. I’ve already had that shit happen once, Ryan. I’m not being placed back in a box.”
She offered a small smile, coming to stand in front of her desk. “Nikki, there’sno onewho would be able to place you in a box, girl. You are fierce, intelligent, and frankly, downright scary when you want to be. We’re a family, and families look out for each other. I care, and I’m here to support you—not control you.”
Too bad family was who’d locked me away last time, too…
But maybe family had nothing to do with the blood that ran through our veins. Maybe Ryan was right and family really did look after one another.
I nodded, exhaustion taking a toll on me. I was ready to be done with this conversation.
Hell, this day.
Maybe she knew better. Maybe letting people in wasn’t a weakness. Or maybe I was making a huge mistake by staying even a little while longer.
“I’ll try to remember that,” I said, slapping on a soft smile.
CHAPTER 15
DEX
A DASH OF EMOTIONAL AVOIDANCE, PER USUAL
“Dex.Dex! Fuck, I’m sorry, man,” Gunner called out from behind as I took the stairs two at a time.
I spun on my heel when I hit the bottom step, driving my finger into his chest. “I would, and have, taken a bullet for you, Gunner. Don’t fuckin’ leave me in the dark now. I thought we were past this shit when you joined the Skeletons.”
He looked off to the side, sucking in air through his teeth before blowing it out and facing me. “It was a low blow. I’m sorry. I just thought you’d want to be in on this since the Russians are involved.”
I scoffed. “Not every Russian is responsible fo?—”
“But this one is,” he cut in. His green eyes pinned me in place, the words hitting like a punch to the gut.
“How do you know?” I asked, unable to hide the shake in my voice.
Gunner studied my face, searching for something. It was the same look he’d given me the night he’d picked me up from the jail cell in Huachuca City. Without answering, he pushed past me, heading straight for the empty bar andgrabbing two lowball glasses, offering one to me as I followed behind.
“I thought I found him three years ago, too, Gunner, and look where that got us. Where it got you,” I said pointedly, throwing back the finger’s worth of whiskey.
The burning of the alcohol mixed with the burning of guilt in my gut. I was the reason Gunner wasn’t off being Captain America for the FBI. Sure, my fuck up was the reason he’d met Ryan, and his eyes were open now to how much good the Skeletons did, but there was always this nag at the back of my mind, wondering if I’d failed him too, by dragging him down into the mud.
Guilt over nearly killing a man had never kept me up at night.
Failing the people I loved was the demon that did.
A firm hand landed on my shoulder, pulling me back. “Don’t you go there, Dex. That night, the bastard got what he deserved. More justice than Uncle Sam would have handed out, and I would make the choice to come for you over and over again until I died. Because that’s what brothers do, and that’s what you’d do for me. Hell, you fucking ran into a club riddled with cartel members to save the woman I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with.”
I didn’t know what to do with all this. Emotions made me uncomfortable, and my fallback was always humor, but in this moment…part of me didn’t want to push the feelings away. Seconds ticked by as we just stood there staring at one another before I finally gave a curt nod.
“Alright, let’s cut the sappy shit now. You know it makes me wanna puke,” I said, smiling when Gunner barked out a laugh. “Now, how do you know this asshole after Nikki is the same one?”
Gunner sobered at the question, folding his arms acrosshis chest and shifting into professional mode. “Scar looked into Mario’s phone records after all the shit went down. Ryan needed to know what else he had cooking, and who the potential enemies were. One number stood out because it was the same number as the man Scarletta killed back in New York: Maxim. Guess he was the right-hand man of theleaderof the St. Petersburg Bratva.”
“Fuck,” I yelled out, rubbing my hands through my hair to avoid throwing the glass across the room. All the aggression I’d worked out in the shed was back.
After Gunner had bailed me out of jail for beating a man within an inch of his life, he’d used his connections to help find me some answers when it came to Kell. Turned out he’d been looking for them, too, even when I thought he’d abandoned me. It was slow going—all we knew was that the Russians were heavily involved with the skin trade, and up at the tip of the pyramid was the St. Petersburg faction.