Page 67 of Alpha Bond
It was like discovering the ultimate truth, the key to my very existence.
I want that feeling. I want it so desperately it’s like an ache in my heart.
It wasn’t real.
I pull in a breath and pick up the pace, thighs flexing as I break into a ground-covering jog. The rhythm of it steadies my mind as I try to come to terms with what happened. She didn’t truly want me. She couldn’t have. She’d been forced into that position, and anything she did was driven by whatever they did to her.
The thought has my jaw clenching. When I get my hands on that motherfucker – and I will – he’s going to pay. He’s going to hurt in ways that he could only imagine in his worst nightmares. Visions of torn limbs and ripped flesh swim before me as I keep on running. Sweat prickles between my shoulder blades, and I revel in the burn that’s started in my calves.
“Jagger.”
I keep running.
“Fuck it! Jagger!” Casey yells. I slow to a walk and look around. She’s a hundred feet behind me. The rest are further behind.
Shit.
“What the fuck, man?” She catches up and glares at me.
“We need to keep moving.”
“Yeah. We need to keep movingthatway.” She points to the left. “Your head’s not in the game.”
“I told you, I’m fine,” I snap.
“You’re not. You’re messed up. And that’s going to cost us,” she snaps back.
“Bullshit!”
“Really? Are you really going to try that? We just pulled Titer off his seat for being off his game.”
I take a sharp step back as if she just slapped me.
My God.
“Fuck. Casey…”
“Stop. Don’t try to make sense of it.” She puts a hand on my arm. “You need to go back, Jagger.”
“No! I’m needed here.”
“You’re not. Not like this.” Her eyes turn gentle. “You’ll be a liability.”
Jesus, she’s right.
“But the team…”
“I’ll lead the team. I’m as good as you are out here. Maybe better since I’m female.” She winks. “Besides, we share a brain, remember?” Her teasing is meant to take the edge off her words. It doesn’t.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re freaking out about something back home. Maybe it’s about leaving your mate. Maybe it’s something else. You don’t need to explain it to me. Just admit that you’ll do more good back there than out here and go back.”
I scrub a hand over my face. I’m sweating. “I don’t—”
“Just do it. Callum could probably use you there anyway. I’m not entirely sure he’s got a handle on things; too many of us are way over here.” She waves a hand to encompass the arid landscape. “Steel Lakes needs you more than we do right now. And your head will be clearer.”
“Okay,” I say.