Page 75 of Alpha Bond

I raise a shoulder. “I’m not sure.”

“I know enough.” His voice is hard.

“No, you don’t.” Doctor Bea’s voice is just as hard. “Sierra’s reproductive system is severely compromised. Frankly, I’m surprised she’s had any interest in sex at all.” She looks at me. “Sorry, honey. I’m just telling it like it is. It’s not the end of the world – it will stabilize.” She turns back to Jagger. “The fact that she responded to you is pretty damned miraculous if you ask me. When I went through the change, my mate couldn’t come anywhere near me for months.”

My cheeks are growing increasingly flushed. This conversation is getting way too intimate.

“The change?” Jagger rubs a hand over his face. “None of this is making any fucking sense.”

“Then I’ll get out of here and let your mate explain it.” The doctor pats my shoulder. “Good luck, honey. He’s a tough nut to crack, but it’ll be worth it.”

I doubt she’s right. I’m pretty sure I’m looking at the end of us. I manage a tight smile before she leaves. Then I fix my eyes on Jagger.

“Being with you was magical,” I whisper. “Everything about it was right.”

His chest heaves as he looks back at me. Processing all of this.

“I’ll never question how much I wanted you. My wolf… My wolf picked you as her mate.Ourmate. Hers and mine. She wouldn’t be wrong about that.” Jagger’s eyes widen, and his lips part to speak, but I raise a hand. “I know that it doesn’t mean we can be together, but I just wanted you to realize that you never betrayed your mother’s memory. You’re such a good man, Jagger. Anyone can see that. And you’re going to be such an amazing alpha. And then I’ll be out of your hair, just as we planned.”

“I’m already Steel Lakes’ alpha.” His words are blunt.

“What?” My heart plummets. I’d hoped for at least a little more time.

“Titer was removed on medical grounds. They nominated me.”

“Oh.” I’m suddenly at a loss for words. “Then… Then we can work on a way to end this.” I wave a hand between us.

“Why would we end this?” He seems confused. “Sierra, you just told me that your wolf chose me. Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted to hear that?”

“But—”

“But nothing. When I left here after we spoke, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out and taken a bite of it! Because everything in me said that we were meant to be together.” He grasps my wrist and holds it firmly. “For the first time in decades, it felt like I had someone I belonged to. Who belonged to me. And when I heard the doctor tell you that you had no control over who you mated with, it all came crashing down.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“I know that now. And I’m sorry. You should probably get used to me being a fool sometimes.” His lips curl up.

“How will I do that when we can’t be together?” I try not to sniffle. The Sierra who cries all the time took a backseat when the Sierra who slays demons showed herself today. Rack is gone forever, and I did it. At least I can hold that close to my heart.

“Why the fuck can’t we be together?” His eyes grow stormy. “Your wolf picked me. And mine picked you. I know we haven’t made it permanent yet,” his eyes drop to my neck, “but I’m going to change that just as soon as I can get you onto this bed with me.” He gives me a tug. I resist.

“Don’t taunt me, Jagger. We both know why that can’t happen.”

“Enlighten me because I don’t have a clue.”

I’m getting the feeling that he didn’t hear that I’m no longer fertile. If he had, he would have said something, surely? Which means I still have to tell him. I squeeze my eyes shut briefly.

“You heard what the doctor said about the change.”

“I don’t want you changing anything at all. Now come here. We’ve wasted too much time on misunderstandings.” He tugs again.

“She meant menopause, Jagger.”

“What?” He blinks at me.

“The chip they put into me flooded me with hormones that ruined my ovaries. I’m going through menopause. I’m not even out of my twenties yet and I’ll never be a mother.” My shoulders slump. I’ve never felt like more of a failure. I’ll never need to tell him about what my bloodline is capable of because I’ll never be able to do it.

“Oh, my love.” He gazes into my face and my heart melts. “I’m so sorry. But I’ll do everything in my power to make sure your heart is always full.”