Page 1 of Don't Look Down

PROLOGUE

Fear heights. Be afraid to fall. Don’t look down, we’re taught, basically from the time we learn to walk. If you fall, you may break. You may just shatter your body, or parts of it, into itty bitty pieces. Pieces that will never fit back together again. And we can’t have that.

It’s like they want us grounded here on earth. They don’t want us to fly. They don’t want us to soar or thrive. They want us to be afraid so we fall in line and do what we’re told.

Well, guess what?

I’ve never been good at doing what I’m told.

I’m more of a free spirit and tend to follow where the wind leads me. A bit of a wanderer and adventurer of sorts. I’ve also learned that if you leap, you open up a whole new world of endless possibilities where fear has no place.

I don’t remember being afraid of anything. And so, I continue to choose to be fearless. But that choice may very well have led to the end of me. Or at least the end of the me I’ve always known.

My name is Skylar, but please call me Sky, and this is my story. Yeah, my name is a bit ironic. I bet my parents didn’t planthat, but trust that the irony only gets better from here. You’ll see.

This is the story about how I laughed in the face of danger one too many times. Leaping from devastating heights and taking unimaginable risks. But… I lived, took chances, took those leaps without much thought to the consequences or fallout.

Sans fear.

It’s the only way to be.

Because when you’re a critical care nurse, you’re facing and fighting death daily.

I’ve witnessed the fragility of life over and over again. Held someone’s life in the palm of my hand while performing CPR or administering a defibrillator after a code, only to watch the life leave their eyes anyway.

Whether it’s due to genetics, bad luck, or wrong place at the wrong time, death is nondiscriminatory.

I’ve seen it all. Between your standard illnesses and trauma cases of motor vehicle accidents, shootings, or drug overdoses, I’ve seen countless lives lost.

I’ve learned to live each day to the fullest. Like each day could possibly be my last. Who the fuck has time for fear when life is so damn short?

I don’t.

Well…

I didn’t.

At least not until that dreadful moment when the worst happened. And it didn’t even happen to me. Which, honestly, makes it so much worse.

There’s another dash of irony for you, considering my purpose is to help people. All those years of training were useless. There was nothing I could do to help. I didn’t even get the chance to try. Maybe I could have made a difference.

I care more for other people than I do for myself, but I still couldn’t help in that one critical moment.

I should have listened to what they said.

But I didn’t.

And in the end, I paid dearly for it. I paid too steep a price. A price nobody should have to pay.

Life knocked me back down to earth and into the darkest depths of despair. All of my insecurities were brought screaming to the surface. Doubts, fears, and sorrow all threatening to overtake and suffocate me. To snuff out the Sky I’ve always been. The Skylar, I’m supposed to be.

But Landon…

God.

Sweet, precious Landon was there to guide me back out into the light.

He helped teach me, a highly trained, and skilled, if I do say so myself, healthcare professional, how to breathe again. How to take that leap and soar again after I forgot how to spread my wings.