Page 84 of Don't Look Down

It hurts he didn’t share that with me. And it hurts worse because the tiny crumbs of hope that we could be something died an instant death when I heard him say those three little words to Savannah.

Technically, he said four, but what the fuck ever. Those words broke me.

Shattered me into a million pieces all over his gorgeous porcelain tile. Savannah’s shrewd assessing gaze watched me, cataloging every nuance of my expression. Somehow, I managed to hold myself together and escaped as quickly as I could.

I’d never been more grateful for an Uber driver in my life. I don’t think I could have focused on getting myself home safely after that.

After a few hours of feeling sorry for myself, I dragged myself down to the gym for a cathartic sweat sesh.

It helped work some of the burgeoning feelings out. I’m functional, but still broken inside.

I need a drink or ten. Messy drunk is not my aim, but I need to dull the sharpness of the ragged edges that keep slicing me open.

I have no idea how I got here. Hanging with hockey players like it’s a normal occurrence. And devastated that my deep crush on one of them, on my best friend, is unrequited.

Oh look, my glass is empty again. Time for a refill.

I scooch forward on the sofa and reach for the margarita pitcher. The pitcher Landon ordered for me as soon as we sat down. His consideration was another knife in the wound. He cares. He pays attention.

The way this man makes me feel seen? And valued. Cared for. It’s such a great feeling. It’s freeing. I feel secure in our friendship. I just wish it could be more.

It’s ironic how accurate that saying is. Love will find you when you least expect it. You always find your person when you’re not looking for them.

Too bad I found my person and he’s already spoken for. The irony is cruel.

I’m not saying I’m in love with him. But I feel like I could be if we had the chance to explore our connection.

But he can’t be mine.

And I have to wrap my head around that fact. I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all. I just need time to mourn the loss of something I didn’t even think I wanted. Something I convinced myself I didn’t need.

Not just the loss of a relationship. But the loss of a relationship with Landon.

Let it go. Enjoy this moment. Be present with your friends. Then go home and bawl your eyes out.

The bass is thumping, the sound of my favorite songs filling the space. And I’d rather be anywhere but here.

Shake it off, Sky.

My phone vibrates in my pocket.

Cayden: You still at Quench? Andrew and I are heading over.

A genuine smile curves my lips at the thought of hanging with Cayden. Andrew is an unfortunate companion, but I’m sure I can avoid him.

Me: Yasssssss, boo.

I lean over and set a hand on Landon’s shoulder. Raising my voice to be heard, I speak into his ear. “Cayden and Andrew are on their way.” His shoulder tenses beneath my fingers. In automatic reflex, I massage the area gently. “Are they on the list?”

He turns his face to me, and I present my ear to him so I can hear him better. As his lips brush my ear, a shiver travels down my spine and goosebumps form on my neck.Fuck.“Yeah. I added them just in case.”

A while later, Cayden and Andrew join us. After ensuring they both have drinks, we’re all just vibing and chatting.

During a break in the conversation, Leigh leans forward in order to be heard over the thumping bass. “We missed you on the boat yesterday. Did you guys get everything sorted with the wedding venue?”

Oh, thank God. I’m glad Luc steered the conversation in this direction. I didn’t want to be the first one to mention the wedding.

Cayden opens his mouth to speak, but Andrew answers first. “Yeah, we did.All set for the second Saturday in September.