Page 9 of Don't Look Down
Dropping my phone on the bed, I scrub my hands over my face and comb my fingers through my hair until I have a nice solid grip on the dirty blonde strands. There’s not much to grab at the moment, since it’s close cropped on the sides with a little length on top. Nevertheless, the sting is satisfying.
These nerves are ridiculous. I’m like a nervous teenager for no fucking reason at all. I mean, Sky is admittedly “very gay.” His description, not mine. Although I always try my best not to assume, I was fairly certain I’d known he was gay from the jump. Even though we didn’t outright discuss it until a bit later on. My gaydar rarely fails me.
I know, I know. Even more reason to be open with him about my bisexuality, at the very least. I can’t explain where the nerves are coming from. These nerves and anxiety are not who I am. Outside of heights and flying of course. Otherwise, I am unshakeable.
Looking back, I know the exact moment I fucked up and held myself back. One afternoon, Sky’s friend had come over, and I’d blatantly called her his girlfriend. I don’t think I could have been any less subtle in my fishing if I had tried.
Through the headset, I overheard a door slam, followed by Sky saying, “Honey, we don’t slam doors here, thanks!” and a feminine voice retorting, “Well, how else am I going to announce my presence? Oh my god, I’d ask if you’re ready to go, but I can see that you’re not.”
“Oh, shit, it’s that time already? Sorry! I forgot to set an alarm. I can be ready super quick.”
“Mhm, sure you can, Skylar.”
“Ewww, nope! No ma’am, you will not full-first-name me, Adeline.”
“Hey, man, we can pick this back up later. Go spend some time with your girlfriend,” I interjected while pausing the game. I know I’m fishing. And what I’m doing is so damn obvious to me, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too busy gasping out, “My, what? Oh my god, nooooo. Ew. Bahahaha!”
Hysterical guffaws of laughter almost blew out my ear drums and were quickly followed by a thump and some rustling. I loved that about him. He didn’t just laugh.Sometimes, like now, he spoke his laugh, and I couldn't help but laugh with him. He’s just pure joy and happiness manifested in a person, and it can’t be contained. It bubbled out of him with every laugh and chortle through the headset and wrapped its way around my gut.
A giggling feminine voice spoke into the mic, “Hey, sorry, Sky can’t come to the game chat right now. He’s fallen off his couch and died of laughter. I’ll miss him dearly,” I could hear him snort at that remark and continue cracking up. “I’m Addy, by the way, the bestie. I assume you’re Landon, the COD bestie?”
I chuckled again at that description. I didn’t know this woman, but she seemed like a cool person. That didn’t surprise me, since I think Sky isn’t so bad himself. It tracks that his friend would be, too.
“Yup, I guess that’s me. The descriptor seems to fit.”
“Okay, that’s enough, woman, gimme,” Sky stated in the background, “I am composed now.”
“Bye, Landon,” she sing-songed.
“Bye, Addy. Nice talking to you.” Rustling sounds followed for a few seconds.
“Fine, go ahead and take away the headset and the man with the sexy voice. You didn’t tell me he has such a sexy voice! Pure sex on a stick. Yum! You’ve been holding out on me, Sky babe.”
A smirk curls my lips after the sexy voice comment. What guy doesn’t love an ego boost?
His answering screech of outrage caused me to cringe like that would lessen his volume somehow. My poor eardrums somehow managed to allow Sky’s response to come through clearly, “Nope! We arenotdoing that, Adeline. Do not call me Sky babe and definitely don’t talk about sexy things in the same sentence. It’s almost sacrilegious, woman. You have the sheeraudacity to bring Luke and Vance into the conversation and call me Sky babe? Nope! No, ma’am. Do you hear me?”
The more words poured out of his mouth the closer his voice got until I could finally tell he had the headset back on. Apparently, it was Adeline’s, orAddy’s, turn to bust up with peals of laughter.
“Oh. My. Gosh. Landon. She is impossible. I don’t even know why we’re friends at this point. She hates me. She won’t play COD with me or watch hockey, and then she shamelessly shoves Luke and Vance in my face. I. Can’t. Even! Can you see the knife sticking out of my back from there?”
“You’re ridiculous,” I laughed, then asked, “Who are Luke and Vance?” They seemed to be causing him the most distress right now.
“Okay, first, let me jump back and address your earlier comment. Addy is my bestie, for some unknown reason,notmy girlfriend. She’s not my type. I like someone more masculine. Her lady bits don’t do it for me-”
Addy mockingly announced in a faux-British accent, “How have my lady bits offended you today, Skylar?”
I couldn’t hold it back if I’d tried. The snort laugh echoed into the mic. God, they were a riot.
“Ugh, ignore her, Landon. I do. Anyway, I’m super gay. No chicks, only dicks. I didn’t think I needed to announce it, since I’ve been told it’s obvious in the past. But if that’s an issue for you, let me know now, because I won’t continue to be friends with some homophobic asshole.”
My tongue was tied, and my chest felt tight. Tension coiled my muscles into bricks. What I wanted to say was locked up. Held inside in some weird-ass attempt at self-preservation I knew I didn't need. That I’ve never felt before. Knowing that didn’t stop some bullshit mix of truth and misdirection from leaving my mouth against my will, along with a slightly forcedlaugh. “Hey, man, I’m not the type to assume or judge anyone’s sexual identity or put labels on anyone. We’re cool.”
“Good, now that that’s settled, I don’t know if you’re a reader, but Luke and Vance are one of my absolute favorite same-sex couples in a series by Ellis James. Vance calls Luke ‘Sky Babe’ and Addy knows it makes me swoon. She’s theworst.”
“Sure, she is. She seems fun. But yeah, I’ve been known to read a book or two once in a blue moon. Maybe I’ll check them out.”
“You’d check out queer romance?”