Page 44 of Below the Surface
“I’d be open to it with the right person,” I tell her. “Do you?”
“I never thought about it much until recently. I mean, I thought about it, but never about?—”
“Pursuing it?”
“Yes. Being with you seems to have me thinking about many things I never seriously considered.”
“Is that right?”
“It feels—being with you feels like beinghome.”
I smile.
“Even when I feel unsure, I know I’m safe with you. And I don’t mean what we did tonight. That’s part of it. You never try to mold me into what you want me to be. It’s both freeing and grounding. It’s like that meditation exercise Kelsey taught me in college where you imagine roots growing out of your feet.”
“I think I saw that once in the emergency room.”
Cameron laughs. “I’m serious!”
I laugh and wink at her. “I understand.”
“You do?”
“Completely. That’s why I broke down earlier. I couldn’t get close enough to you. That’s never happened to me before—not with anyone.”
“Piper, I want you to make me a promise.”
“If I can.”
“Tell me if you have the burning desire to go to Union again.”
I sigh.
“I mean it,” Cameron says.
“I know you mean it.”
“Are you afraid for me to see how people respond to you?”
All my doubts about Cameron’s understanding of me vanish with that single question. “Yes.”
“I thought so.” She caresses my cheek. “Piper, I love you—every part of you. Don’t say anything. Hear me out. I meant what I said earlier. Watching you with someone else would hurt. I want to give everything to you, but I can only give myself toyou. Beyond that? You need to tell me.”
My heart clenches, and memories of the first time Cameron and I made love flood my mind. I feel the warmth of my tears as they slip over my cheek. We all have demons. One of mine just surfaced.
“What is it you’re so afraid to tell me?” Cameron asks.
“I’m not afraid to tell you anything. The only thing that makes me interested in attending Union is you.”
“Me?”
The wonder in her voice makes me chuckle. “You. Not to show you off—to let you inside that part of who I am. All the way inside. But I don’t need that. I promise you that’s true.”
She tips her head.
“I have fantasies, too. But Iknowmy limits. You told Kelsey I’m the love of your life.”
“You are.”