Page 42 of Alaskan Blackout
“Seriously?” McKenna reared back a little, surprised that he would suggest such a thing. “Considering he punched you in the face, I’m not sure I helped one bit.”
She wondered if the spot was still sore, but she didn’t see a bruise yet.
“He could have done a whole lot worse.” Quinton shook his head, as if contemplating what else might have happened. “And he agreed to come to Montana for a couple of weeks to hear us out and sign the paperwork. That’s a far better outcome than I expected when I arrived.”
Her heart dropped like a stone in her breast. Not that Clay was leaving. But because Quinton had just made it clear that he would be too.
“That’s good then,” she forced herself to say, fingers digging into the edge of the wool blanket. She bit her lip for a long moment to try and get her emotions under control.
In the silence that followed, she listened to the call of a far-off loon. The closer hooting of an owl. Sounds that seemed to echo the loneliness she already felt at being left here alone.
“I don’t know that he’ll stay in Silent Spring for long,” Quinton continued, pointing out the green haze of the aurora borealis lights taking shape in the darkest section of the sky. “But I’m grateful for the chance to right some of the mistakes our father made.”
Her eyes blurred a little as she stared at the small smudge of green that would probably turn into a far more impressive display as the night wore on.
“I’m pleased for you both.” She knew the words didn’t sound pleased, but then it took every ounce of her restraint not to let Quinton see the hole in her heart at the idea of him departing. “How soon will you leave for Montana?”
Quinton turned his eyes toward her, his intent gaze seeming to see right into her soul. “I’ll wait until after your first doctor appointment. Do you have a date yet? I want to be with you for all of them if you’ll let me.”
Blinking the blurriness of an unshed tear from her eye, she refocused on him. “You do?”
The owl that had been hooting flew closer, its call growing louder and more insistent.
Whoo-whoo-whoo.
“My God, yes.” He laid a warm hand on her knee through the blanket, the weight of his fingers making her heart beat faster. “I’m sorry that I was too stunned to react to the pregnancy news with the enthusiasm it deserved. I was caught by surprise, which is no excuse, but please know that I am fully committed to you and this child, McKenna.” He hesitated before continuing, his touch squeezing briefly before he released her. “Or, at least, as committed to you as you will allow me to be.”
Hopeful emotions sparked to life from the embers of their affair. McKenna told herself to proceed with caution. To wait until she understood him better.
Perhaps he was only referencing the marriage of convenience he’d once proposed.
“You will make an incredible father,” she told him honestly. Because he deserved to hear that after the rough childhood he’d weathered. Perhaps he didn’t recognize the amazing qualities he possessed. “A caring, protective, wonderful dad any child would be lucky to have.”
Reaching across the space that separated them, she touched him the way he’d touched her, laying her hand on his knee. Did it affect him half as much as his touch had stirred her?
His gaze lowered to where her fingers rested a moment before he laid his palm on the back of her hand. Her heart pounded so strongly, she wondered if he could feel it reverberate through the veins around her knuckles.
“I will do everything in my power to make those words true,” he vowed in a low voice that told her how much it meant to him. His throat bobbed with a long swallow before he continued, “But I want to be more than just a father to our baby, McKenna.”
Her mouth went dry at the look in his eyes as the moment spun out between them. She didn’t allow herself to guess what he meant. She needed toknowif the future he wanted included her in a more meaningful role than as a wife of convenience.
“In what way? I can’t settle for a marriage in name only, Quinton. I just...” She felt the lump in her throat and took a moment to swallow the emotions. “I can’t.”
Carefully, Quinton folded her fingers between both his hands, his body swiveling toward her so that his knee brushed hers under the blanket.
“I love you, McKenna. I realize you deserve a more flowery declaration, but I’m a man of science and words sometimes fail me—as was clear during my botched proposal. But I want you to know that I mean every word. I. Love. You.”
Shock sent her reeling. Her ears rang, her pulse speeding.
“But you said—” she began, ready to remind him that he’d already told her a union would be based on practicality alone.
Quinton laid a finger lightly over her lips. “I was wrong about so many things. About what I was capable of, for starters, because I’ve never committed to anyone to the point where I might have to fear losing them.”
More green lights appeared in the sky, an otherworldly glow that made the moment feel timeless. Like they were alone in the world under this fuzzy green streak in the heavens.
“You couldn’t lose me if you tried,” she promised him, already imagining what it might be like to be in this man’s life forever. “Living up here on my own these last months has taught me how resilient I am. That I can handle what life throws my way.” She remembered with a pang the way she’d jumped to the worst conclusions with him, letting her fears undermine what she knew to be true about him. “And I swear that if you give me another chance, I will never doubt you again.”
“You already apologized for that,” he reminded her, letting go of her hand to wrap his arms around her, enfolding her in his warmth and love. “And it’s already forgotten.”