Page 153 of Legally Mine
Inwardly, I had to chuckle. Brandon was always complaining about my scratchy sheets, but I wouldn't let him buy anything to spruce the place up. I had done just fine with my meager budget, and even with the coarse bedding, we both still preferred my homey little room to the cold majesty of his high-rise.
"So...two weeks, huh? Whatcha been...doing?" I did my best to leer at her, making sure the emphasis on "doing" was clear.
Jane just shook her head.
"First of all, you should never, ever do that with your face again," she said. "It makes you look like you're having a stroke. Second of all––" she parried the sweater I threw–– "the fuck if I know."
She fell back into my pillows and pulled one across her chest. I stopped sorting clothes. It wasn't like Jane to get so...caught up in things. Especially to the point where her filterless wit wasn't readily available.
She sighed and buried her head in her hands, then gave a loud and extremely un-ladylike groan through her fingers.
"Fuck!" she griped. "It's...complicated. Eric is so..."
"Dreamy?" I teased.
"Annoying!" she shouted, just before apparently realizing that we were still in the same apartment as Eric and clapping her hands over her mouth.
I frowned. "If it's been that bad, why didn't you just go back to Chicago?"
"No, no, it hasn't been bad," she stated, this time in a much lower voice. "That's the annoying thing. See, that was supposed to be the point of this little two-week rendezvous. We were supposed to boink it out of our systems and remember by the end just how much we hate each other."
I pursed my lips sympathetically and rubbed my friend on the shoulder. She shuddered, as if the thought of actually liking Eric was too much to bear.
"He's really not so bad, Jane," I said. "I mean, I live with him. He's clean and usually pretty nice to me. Plus, if we're being real here, I don't think he ever hated you. Tell me again, why is dating him such a terrible thing?"
"Okay, how about, he's such a man whore, the guy keeps a thousand condoms in his closet." Jane looked up, her hands spread over her legs like she was going to catch said condoms from the sky. "I am not exaggerating, Sky. He buys them wholesale. There is seriously a cardboard box full of them. Right next to where he stacks his shoes in their boxes too, like a freak."
I chuckled. Neither fact was really that surprising. Eric was a sexually active neat freak. It made complete sense that he would be as conscientious about contraceptives as with his organization.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," I said gently. "But didn't you make, oh, weekly stops at the student health center all last year for free condoms?"
Jane gave me a look that would have frozen a lake. "Your point?"
I shrugged. "I'm just saying, you're kind of a match that way. I think you finally found a guy that can keep up with you."
"Yeah, and up with every other girl in the city when I'm not here."
She buried her face in the pillow next to my shoulder.
"Why?" she moaned dramatically. "Why did I have to fall for a guy that has the nicest dick in Boston? I swear to God, it's like he laces that thing with coke."
If I'd been drinking anything, I'd have choked. "Jesus. I really don't need to hear about my roommate's junk."
Jane just groaned again and then hiccupped a fake sob.
"Well, if it's any consolation, I can also tell you that since you guys started hooking up, Eric has been spending every night in his own bed," I said. "And he does not bring girls home, if you catch my drift."
"You're about as subtle as a waterfall," Jane said dryly.
I shrugged and continued sorting. "I just think maybe you guys have a good thing going, despite the distance. Maybe you should give it a real chance."
Jane bit her lip. I tried not to smile. My friend was really and truly smitten, and a part of me was satisfied to see her meet her match. Maybe Eric, with his stolid, unflappable personality, was exactly what Jane needed.
"And you?" she asked as she sat up again. "Are you finally giving it a real chance? Please tell me that in two weeks alone with Brandon, you finally found time to tell him about the abortion."
The answer must have been clear on my face.
"You have got to be kidding me," Jane said. "Seriously? You still haven't told him? Skylar, what the fuck is going on?"