Page 69 of Legally Yours
I flushed. It was obvious he wasn’t talking about pizza. I bit my lower lip.
“I…yes,” I mumbled. “I did.”
“That’s what I thought.” Brandon’s gaze, at first nervous, softened. “You don’t need to be shy about it. I just wanted to make sure. Some girls say they like it rough because they think it’s going to be some kind of Fifty Shades shit, one light slap on the ass and they’re coming five times in a row. But really, they just want hearts and flowers, and that’s about it.”
Hearts and flowers. That definitely wasn’t me, at least not all the time. I didn’t think. The truth was, I wasn’t really sure what I liked.
“Do you…do you always need it to be…like that?” I asked quietly.
I didn’t know the right words to describe what we’d done. Rough? A little. Public? Very. Raw? No doubt. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his answer.
Brandon frowned. “I thought you said you liked it.”
“I…I did. I do,” I said, tracing my finger on the edge of the table. “But I think I might like it a lot of ways.”
“Okay,” Brandon said. “Like what?”
This conversation was beyond mortifying, but I persevered, trying to ignore the likelihood that I looked like a giant tomato. But if he could bare himself the way he’d done for the past several hours, I could tell the truth too.
“I…I don’t know,” I admitted weakly.
Brandon sat back thoughtfully. “What do you mean?” He looked up with sudden panic. “Christ, Skylar, you weren’t a virgin, were you?”
His expression made me laugh hard from my gut. “No! No. I mean, I don’t have eons of experience or anything, but I’m not a virgin. And I wasn’t before we had sex, either,” I clarified snarkily.
“So, it’s just never been that good?” Brandon asked with a leer.
I shook my head and tried to explain it to him. “No. I mean, yes. But no...um, it’s been fine. I just…after a while it starts to feel the same. Once the excitement dies away, my mind starts to wander…and I don’t know how to make it stop.” I looked up helplessly. I wasn’t even sure why I felt like that, so it was hard to explain it to someone else. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It doesn’t seem like men have that kind of problem.”
Brandon came to sit next to me on another stool. He took one of my hands and tinkered with it delicately, pressing my fingers straight and touching the pads of my palm.
“I read somewhere,” he started, “that for men, sex is ninety percent physical and ten percent mental, and for women, it’s the other way around.” He shrugged. “I don’t know about that. I’ve always felt like it’s a solid fifty-fifty for me. Okay, okay, maybe seventy-thirty,” he said at my skeptical expression. “But the point is, it definitely seems like sex is more of a mental game for some people than for others.”
I pondered that. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, for me it definitely is.”
Brandon nodded. “I can see that. You’re too quick for most.”
We sat there, examining each other.
“So, I’m thinking that in the bedroom, you probably don’t want to have to work so damn hard,” he continued, his voice falling just a bit lower. “I’m guessing you want to be with someone who’s as observant as you are, who doesn’t become predictable. Because being ten steps ahead of anyone in the bedroom is boring.”
My mouth fell slightly open.
Brandon cocked his head. “I’m right, aren’t I? I didn’t really intend for that to be our first time, but you liked what happened tonight because you didn’t have to think about it, didn’t you?”
I thought back to our encounter under the stairs and the one in my bedroom. It wasn’t just Brandon’s touch that had made me want him so badly—it was his words too, the way he had controlled my focus. He was right. I did like the fact I hadn’t been able to think. But there was something else that was bothering me.
“Was that just some kind of a game?” I finally managed to ask.
The best sex I had had with other partners had also been with people willing to play around in the bedroom, but there was only so many times you could be blindfolded and told you were a dirty bitch before it stopped being exciting and started feeling misogynistic. Sex with Brandon had felt so honest, so raw. I didn’t think I could bear it if he’d planned it all out.
Brandon shook my hand, forcing me to look at him. “It wasn’t premeditated, if that’s what you’re asking. But the mental connection was as intense as the physical, don’t you think?”
His eyes shone brightly. The memory rose, unbidden, of him shoving my pants down, fucking me with his fingers, and taking me harshly against the cold stone wall. I had barely had a choice in the matter, but that was part of what had turned me on so much. It was completely unexpected.
Suddenly I felt short of breath again as my eyes flickered to his full lips.
“Yes,” I said confidently. “I agree.”