Page 50 of Deny Me
Twenty-One
“Hey, sweetie! How have you been?” my mom’s voice floated throughout my car via Bluetooth.
“Hey, Mom. I’m good. Busy. Sorry it’s been so long since we’ve talked.”
“It’s okay, baby. I know how successful you are and how busy all the success can keep you.” Her words dripped with pride in me. My mom was always my biggest supporter, believing in me even when I didn’t was something that pushed me to be better.
“Speaking of success…” I paused, letting the suspense build.
“Well, don’t stop there. Tell me.”
“I got a phone call this week about the internship with Lana Designs in Italy. She saw the work I did for that international online retailer and loved it so much she offered me the two-month trial period after she looked through my application. I would be working on a specific line with her, but if things work out, she might offer me an extended position.”
I laughed when all I heard was excited squealing from the other line. “I am so damn proud of you.” Her squeals turned to choking back tears. “Tell me more about it.”
“Well, it’s in Milan. It’s a huge stepping stone, more like a rocket ship to better opportunities. I would get to meet bigger designers and maybe start working on my own line. It could be amazing.”
“So, when do you leave?”
“Umm…” How did I tell my mom I hadn’t accepted yet? I couldn’t even explain to myself why I’d held back. I was so excited when it was a possibility, but once it became tangible, I hesitated. But at the thought of leaving Cincinnati, my heart pinched. “I haven’t accepted it just yet.”
There was a pause. “What?”
I felt her disappointment as if she was sitting right next to me. I was taught to take an opportunity and never doubt a decision that made me a more successful woman. Accepting the position should’ve been a no-brainer.
“I haven’t accepted it yet,” I repeated quietly.
“Why?” Her proud, excited voice had turned hard and skeptical.
“I don’t know, Mom. I just need a minute to think about it. Cincinnati is my home and I have family here.”
“Evelyn.” Just my name and I felt the reprimand for having any self-doubt. “You are your home. You are your own family. Not even your own mother should tie you down. You are Evelyn Valero; you wait for no one.”
Her familiar mantra washed over me, making me even more confused about why I felt so hesitant to accept the position. Jameson’s face flashed in my mind, and the way he jokingly asked me to stay. But I couldn’t mention him then and associate him with the reason I wasn’t jumping all over the position. I could only imagine how my mom would handle that.
Thankfully, I pulled up to King’s for our Sunday lunch so I had a valid excuse to get off the phone without further discussion.
“Yeah,” I threw away, lacking any commitment to accepting her words. “Thanks for your support, Mom. But I’m pulling up to where I need to be. I’ll call you again soon.”
“Oh, one more thing. I booked my flight and will be in late Friday night for your birthday. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you.” Her excitement was back. My mom rarely took time off from work, so her doing so for me made my heart fill with gratitude.
“Yay! I can’t wait to see you. It’s been a while.” We had done Thanksgiving, but she was on a business trip over Christmas and then it was summer. I didn’t always, but at that moment, I missed my mom. “Just message me your flight info and I’ll come get you.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Evie. I’ll hire a car to come get me. You know I can take care of myself.” My mom was stubborn about every aspect of her life. She was always in control. She didn’t even want to rely on her own daughter to pick her up.
“Okay, Mom. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Think hard about this opportunity. Don’t ever question yourself.” And with that, she hung up.
Placing the car in park, I took a deep cleansing breath. The whole possibility of Italy filled me with both excitement and this odd heaviness that sat wrong on my chest. I needed more time to think about it.
With a death grip on the steering wheel, I looked up at the King’s sign and it lightened the load I was feeling. This was my home, and these were the people that made me feel better.
At least for the time being.
Walking in, I was greeted with everyone laughing over a story Jack was sharing. “What did I miss out on?”
“Oh, nothing. Jack was just telling us about one of his cases,” Luella explained. Jack owned his own security/private investigations firm and from time to time shared an interesting case he was dealing with.