Page 22 of Turn of the Tides
“Thank you, darling,” she said as she brought it to her lips and sipped it in that dainty way that was all her. For as long as I could remember, she always held her mugs like she was having tea with the Queen of England or something. Back rod-straight, pinkie out.
“So,” I started after drinking from my own mug, my coffee straight black, “What brings you by?”
“Does a mother need a reason to visit her son?” She arched a brow, and the effect with that damn pinkie still out made me feel like I was being chastised by a goddamn royal or something.
“Of course not. I was just asking.”
She hummed. “I missed you is all. You’ve been back in town a few weeks, and I haven’t seen hide nor hair in all that time. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
I gave her a look to let her know she was laying it on a little thick. “You know damn well that’s not true. Things have been crazy lately, what with packing up my entire life and moving it halfway across the country and starting this job. I’ve had a lot on my plate. I need to prove myself not only with the school, but with my team.”
She blew out a raspberry and waved her hand like she thought I was being ridiculous. “Ohpfft. They’re lucky to have you.”
“You think that because you’re my mother, and you’ve always supported me, but that’s not what this is about. I can’t get by on my name and reputation with these boys. I need to earn their trust. I have to prove myself to them.”
She smiled warmly. “And I don’t have a single doubt you’ll manage to do that. I don’t want you to lose track of the other things that are equally as important. Such as making time for yourself. Having a personal life.”
I had to admit, there wasn’t much of a personal life happening lately, but I fully intended on fixing that. “I know. I’m working on it, I promise.”
She stared down at her mug as she quietly tapped the side of the ceramic with her nail. “And family,” she added in a hushed tone before finally looking up at me. “Beau, your father?—”
I held my hand up to stop her. “I’ve told you a million times, Mom. I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you have to say about that man, save it, because it’s falling on deaf ears.”
“Son, he’s yourfather.”
“That man is nothing to me,” I barked loud enough to make her jump, nearly sloshing her coffee over the rim of her cup. I hadn’t meant to be so cold with her, but my vision was starting to cloud red. “You know how I feel and why I feel that way. Christ.” I lifted a hand and raked it through my sweat-slicked hair. “It’s not like you didn’t see it for yourself. I don’t know why the hell you insist on pushing this. Why you constantly defend him.”
“Because he’s my husband.”
The stabbing pain to my chest that comment created was nearly enough to knock the breath from my lungs and rock me back on my feet. It felt like she’d reached out and slapped me.
“And I’m yourson,” I said in a low, craggy voice. “Your fuckingson, Mom. Jesus. Does that mean anything?”
She looked stricken, heartbroken, but at that very moment, I couldn’t find it in me to feel bad for what I’d said. Too many years of taking second place to him, even though that son of a bitch didn’t deserve a single second of anyone’s loyalty, had jaded me too fucking much.
“Of course it does,” she whispered in a pained voice. “You two are my family. I just want my family back. Is that too much to ask?”
“Yes,” I answered with finality as I gave my head a disappointed shake. “Look, Mom, I love you, nothing will everchange that, and I’ll always be here for you. But what you want, it’s never going to happen. And he’s the only one you have to blame for that.”
I moved to the sink and dumped my barely-touched coffee down the drain before turning back to her. “But if you keep pushing this, you’re only going to succeed in pushing me away. So I’m asking you, please, just stop.”
She brushed at the single tear that fell down her cheek as I rounded the island, the tension I’d managed to run off earlier now back two-fold.
I bent and brushed a kiss to her temple. “Feel free to finish your coffee, but I need to get ready for work. I’ll see you later.”
Then I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to my room. Something told me that hot shower wasn’t going to be nearly as enjoyable now.
Chapter Eleven
BEAU
The sun washigh in the sky, the cloudless baby blue so brilliant it would have improved anyone’s disposition. Well, anyone but me, apparently. After the shit with my mom earlier that morning, the beautiful day actually only succeeded in pissing me the hell off. And as shitty as it was, I’d been taking it out on my team. I couldn’t help myself.
“Goddamn it, Johnson, you should’ve had that!” I barked at my starting wide receiver, a kid barely old enough to drink or grow facial hair, for fuck’s sake. “Why the hell should I keep you on my team if you can’t catch a simple pass like that, huh? The ball slipped right through your fucking fingers!”
“Sorry, Coach.” The kid hung his head in shame as he moved back into position, and I immediately felt like shit for coming down on him so hard. It wasn’tthatgood of a pass. I was just in a shitty mood, and no matter how hard I tried not to take it out on my players, I couldn’t stop snapping at them. No one had been spared from my wrath today.
I was being an asshole. Truthfully, I wasn’t behaving much better than my father had back when I’d been in school. Henever failed to berate me after a game, pointing out all the shit I did wrong and how I should have known to do better.