Page 56 of Belong With Me
Zia Stella’s so stunned at my admission she doesn’t say anything to Gia as she passes.
She eyes me skeptically. “You stole your father’s car and crashed it through the garage?” she repeats like she needs clarification that she heard me properly.
I understand what’s going to happen. It’ll be the last straw for Dario, and despite us not getting along, I don’t actuallywantto be kicked out. This was supposed to be my chance at normalcy, my chance at having a stable household, my own room, a full kitchen, a family that cares about me. Maybe the family part was asking for too much, but I had the rest of it, for the most part. All I had to do was stay out of Dario’s way until I turned eighteen and I’d have a proper home that would give me the best chance of getting my grades up enough to get some scholarships. How am I supposed to do that when he comes home and learns what happened? He warned me after the break-in that it was my last chance. Yet I stand here, looking Zia Stella in the eye and giving her the last nail Dario needs for my coffin when I say, “That is correct, yes.”
She blows out a breath and pinches the bridge of her nose, mumbling, “As if we didn’t have enough to deal with.”
I’ve disappointed many people in my life, but I’ve never felt the same level of guilt as I do right now. I like Zia Stella; she took an interest in me and Gia, talked to us, cared for us, even bought me a phone just because, and now I’m doing even more to prove to her that I’m not worth the effort, that I reallyamjust like Florence.
“I’m sorry, and I take full responsibility . . .” I admit, trailing off when she drops her hand from her face and narrows her eyes at me. Keeping my shoulders square and my head high even though I feel like cowering under her penetrating gaze, I continue, “I’ll pay for all the damages and accept any consequences. It was irresponsible of me, and I understand that.”
“Youunderstand that?” she asks, her emphasis confusing until she adds, “Are you sure that is what happened?
You,Siena, stole your father’s car and crashed it? You’re not falling into old habits and covering up for someone?”
The outright accusation takes me aback, and because I apparently keep making faces that give me away, I try to school my features. I’m used to people not believing me, but it’s usually in favor of thinking the worst of me, and the switch is disorienting.
Her not believing me is an unexpected curveball, but I’m not going to sell out Gia, even if doing so would protect me. Maybe it’s stupid of me, and maybe it goes against every self-preservation instinct we as humans have, but I open my mouth and say, “Um, yes, I’m sure that’s what happened.” I manage to make it sound like a statement instead of a question, but she still doesn’t let up with the inquisitive stare.
“No, it’s not what happened!” Gia exclaims, running into the kitchen and standing beside me.
What the hell is she doing? I have this. Zia Stella can doubt all she wants, but if I stick to the story, I can protect Gia like she wants. “Gia, you—”
“No.” She cuts me off, her voice steadier than she looks. “This isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to take the fall for me, even though I want you to.” She turns to Zia Stella with a determined look and shocks the hell out of me when she admits, “I was going to borrow Dario’s car, but I panicked and mixed up the forward and reverse. It was me, not Siena.”
If Zia Stella is stunned, she does a better job hiding it than I do. My little sister, the girl who pleads with me to cover for her and cries that she’s not strong enough to face judgment, just took accountability for her actions even though I had already taken the blame.
“Thank you for admitting that, Gia,” Zia Stella says after a moment. “Can you give me a few moments alone with your sister? I’ll be up to talk to you in a bit.”
Unsure, Gia glances between me and our aunt before relenting and leaving the room. Zia Stella doesn’t speak until we hear Gia’s bedroom door close.
“I cannot believe you,” she starts. “You lied about what happened in LA, and you were going to lie again.”
A lot has happened tonight, and there’s a lot to process, but since she brought up LA, there’s no better time to have the inevitable conversation about it.
“We lied to protect Gia. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I’d do it again.”
She sighs and rubs her temples, and I have a feeling I’m about to make her headache worse when I add, “You might not agree, but I’m begging you,pleasedon’t tell anyone about Gia. Yes, we lied, but it was always to protect her, not to hurt anyone.” I step closer to her, and desperation leaks into my voice as I plead, “If you tell people now, if you report us, it’s not going to do anything other than hurt her. I’ve already been cleared of what happened with Stan, and nothing good will come of you turning us in. You’ll be making us go through that entire awful process again, except this time we’ll probably get charged.Please, Zia Stella, no one has to know. It’s done.
Nothing has to change.”
Zia Stella studies me, but I hold my ground. I mean every single word, and I need her to believe me, to choose to keep our secret. She was really upset when she thought we were lying to her, so I’m not sure how she’ll feel about lying to her brother and everyone else, but I know she’s a brilliant doctor, and if she thinks it through, she’ll understand where I’m coming from.
Our staring contest lasts a few moments before Zia Stella says, “You’re a smart girl, Siena.” It’s hard to read her tone. She’s doing that thing Anusha does when she’s trying to sound neutral but still somehow seems patronizing, which makes it difficult to figure out what answer she wants. “You can see that Gia has been affected by everything that happened. The partying and drinking have gotten better this past little while, but she’s clearly having trouble working through what she’s done. If I’d known, maybe I could’ve helped better. I hoped she’d sort it out with time and by talking to her therapist, but if she’s not being honest in her sessions, I don’t think it’s really helping the way it should.”
This is good. This is a different Zia Stella than the one who left the house frantic and yelling. This is a Zia Stella who is concerned withhelpingGia, not hurting her. I can reason and rationalize with her.
“I’ve thought about that, but Gia’s strong, she can handle it. If it came to hiding it and working through it herself or having the truth come out and facing charges and a trial and public scrutiny from people she knowsandstrangers with no filter on the internet, I know what she’d choose. I know whatanyonewould choose.Please, Zia Stella. Going to the police isn’t going to help.” I will get on my knees and beg her if I need to, but when she blows out a breath and drags a hand down her face, I know I’ve gotten through to her.
“I’ve had time to think and calm down since I first learned what happened, and I’ll admit I may have been a bit too harsh.” Even though she sounds a bit sheepish, she mostly seems overwhelmed. It’s been a long day for everyone. “I’m sorry for my initial reaction, but I was so shocked by all these warring feelings. I felt like a bad guardian because I didn’t realize it sooner or see the signs.
Stressed because I didn’t know how to handle it. Pissed because my brother has clearly been doing the shittiest job imaginable of taking care of you girls. Scared for what will happen to the two of you if the truth ever does come out.”
The honest admission shocks me more than anything else she could’ve said. She knows Dario’s a shitty father and feels bad about it? She’s scared . . . forus?I’ve always known that she cared about us, but thinking it and having it confirmed are two different things. There’s a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest that I try not to get too excited about.
Even though she hasn’t explicitly said it, I’m pretty confident as to what her answer is going to be when I speculate, “So, you’re not going to tell anyone?”
“I’ve had some time to cool off and really contemplate the next steps, but no, I don’t think telling anyone will do any good . . . for now.”