Page 21 of Secret Sin
A hint of emotion returned to Bishop’s eyes in the form of angry sparks. “Why?” he asked, closing in with Callum at my back. “I told you already. I’m giving you what you want. You want to see what it’s like to be with other men. To keep your options open. This is the perfect opportunity.”
Callum’s hands cupped my waist. My heart hammered so fast that I couldn’t catch my breath.
Bishop continued, his words growing more passionate. “You’ve told me you don’t want to be tied down. That you want to sample what’s out there. This is me showing you that if that’s what youreallywant, I can give that to you.Foryou.”
Was he offering some sort of open relationship? I was stunned. My brain couldn’t keep up.
Bishop raised my hands over my head. “Maybe you want one of us to watch. Maybe you’d like both of us at once. That would be a new experience, wouldn’t it, kitten?”
Callum trailed his hands down my sides, his hard length now pressing into my backside.
Was this really happening? Would Bishop share me if that was what I wanted? I’d read stories about that sort of thing, and it had always sounded hot, but the reality was a far cry from my fantasies. Maybe it was the glacial severity in Bishop’s normally warm gaze, or maybe the fact that I didn’t know Callum at all, but every muscle in my body was tense with apprehension.
This didn’t feel good. Not at all.
“I don’t think I like this,” I stammered, tugging at my hands to free them.
Bishop held firm. “You don’t have to resist, Pippa. This can be anything you want it to be,” he urged.
Tears burned the back of my throat. I couldn’t stand the torment any longer and twisted harshly away from them both. “Stop it! Just fuckingstop!”
“Why?” he demanded. “Isn’t this exactly what you wanted?”
“I never asked for any of this.”
“Then how am I supposed to take it when you push me away and grind on other men at a club? You told me specifically you didn’t want to betied down. All I’m fucking asking is that if you need to explore, you do itwithme. Is that so goddamn much to ask?”
Bishop had ripped open his chest and put his heart on display but done it in a hurtful, callous manner that wounded me deeply. He made me sound like the most heartless, shallow woman on earth. And maybe I was. It would explain the gaping chasm that hollowed out my chest, making me feel utterly empty.
We both turned to see Callum silently retreat from the room. The small break acted as a valve releasing a fraction of the pressure filling the air around us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, eyes unable to meet his as they filled with tears. “I truly didn’t mean to upset you tonight. It was actually the other way around. I thought about us all week. What I wanted and needed, and the difference between those two. I could sense where I was headed. That I was going to commit to giving us a try and stop pushing you away. It felt like I was handing over my independence, so I decided to go out. Like a retirement party. One last hurrah. When I saw you there, I just sort of panicked.”
I finally lifted my gaze, showing him my hurt. The unexpected pain of feeling like an object to be passed around. He made out his actions to sound like a generous offering when, in reality, it felt like a defensive blow to lash out when he hadn’t understood my reluctance to jump into a relationship.
“Fuck, this isn’t how this was supposed to go.” He coaxed my face to his, but I closed my eyes to shut him out. It was more than I could take.
I hadn’t wanted Bishop to know just how deeply he’d upset me, but a treacherous breath hitched in my throat. His body stiffened the instant he felt my spasm.
“Please, don’t cry.” Bishop cupped my face in his rough hands and brought our foreheads together. We stood like that for endless seconds before he brought his lips to my forehead in a poignant kiss.
“I want to go home now.” I forced the words past the python of emotion strangling my throat.
“Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry. I was only trying to make you understand how much I want you.”
I nodded, ready to say anything to get away. I needed to be alone.
By some mercy of God, Bishop took my hand without further argument. I’d half expected him to keep me captive and demand to talk it out, but instead, he wiped my tears and led me to the door. Within minutes of returning home, I was back in my childhood bed and more lost than I’d ever been in my life.
For the firsttime since meeting Bishop, he’d gone completely silent. A solid week with no texts. No calls. No unexpected appearances. I felt as though the world had succumbed to winter months early, leaching the city of color and warmth.
How could that be? How could I feel so bereft when I’d known him for such a short time? When I’d only just allowed myself to admit my feelings for him?
One particular question haunted me day and night. Was this thing between us over?
I wasn’t sure we had built enough of a foundation to come back from such devastation. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was all my fault. Had I rejected him one too many times? I had been so insistant that I wanted to be free of him, but now that sounded like the worst possible outcome. The thought of never feeling the searing heat of his ravenous stare brought on a head-to-toe shudder.
You could always reach out to him, you know.