Page 36 of Ruthless Salvation
Her delicate pink tongue peeked out as she wet her bottom lip.
I didn’t do kissing—it was too intimate for my liking—but I found myself craving her taste. The feel of her lips opening against mine. The sweetness of her surrender.
The need hit me with such vehemence that I had to steel myself to keep still.
“Okay,” she said softly.
That one simple word calmed me more than any drugs or alcohol ever could. It felt like hope, which was something I hadn’t experienced in a long damn time.
The drive to her place took all of two minutes. I helped her off the bike, my nerves amping back up to a debilitating state. My fingers felt so damn shaky, I could hardly secure the helmet back to the bike.
“I know I’ve fucked up, Storm.” The words tumbled out without preface like flood waters breaching a dam. “And I know it may have been too much for you. I get that. But I need you to know that I would never hurt you. I act the way I do because I prefer to keep people at a distance for my own messed-up reasons. It was never a problem until you came along. I’ve been so goddamn torn over wanting to be near you while needing to stay away. It’s made me look like a fuckin’ psycho, but I swear I’m not.” I sighed, my eyes drifting up to the starless sky in defeat as I heard how pathetic I sounded. It was exactly what a certified creep would have said.
I shook my head and brought my gaze back down to the frigid concrete at our feet. “All I’ve ever meant to do was keep you safe. I’m sorry that I managed to fuck it all up so badly.”
I couldn’t stand to look at her—to see the unease or pity undoubtedly etched in her kind eyes—so I was startled when her fingers trailed gently down the front of my jacket.
“Thank you … for your honesty.”
“I’m not going to tell you what to do about the job, but I will ask that you reconsider. Stay at Moxy. I can leave you alone. Hell, I’d rather quit running the club than know I was the reason you left.” I grimaced. “Shit. I’m making this about me when it’s not. I mean, it is, but it’s not. I gotta go before I make a bigger mess of this.”
I stepped toward my bike when her hand reached for mine. The simple touch seared a scorching trail of sparks up my arm and back down my spine. I finally brought my eyes back to hers, my breath frozen in my lungs.
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
I couldn’t speak. My voice had abandoned me.
All I managed was a brutish grunt with a nod before scrambling onto my bike and racing away. I felt strangely lighter and wondered at the cause until I realized it was because I’d left a piece of my heart on that sidewalk, wrapped in her tender fingers.
Please, don’t let this be an epic mistake.
Present
ThankGod I had the day off because I needed time to think after Torin’s unexpected confession. Not that thinking had helped. My trusting nature and learned wariness were at war with one another. How was I supposed to tell if I was repeating the same mistakes of my past?
Some part of Torin spoke to my soul on an elemental level. I couldn’t deny that.
He was everything I shouldn’t want, though, wasn’t he?
Domineering.Yet thoughtful.
Gruff.Yet tender.
He pushed most people away.And was devoted to those he didn’t.
The man was a criminal.Says the woman who entered the country illegally.
Every argument my brain gave, my heart countered with an equally good point. When I peeled back the layers, it was evident that I was falling for Torin Byrne, and it scared me to death.
What if I was wrong about him? What if I gave him my heart just for him to rip it in two? How was I ever supposed to trust any man after what I’d been through?
It was times like these that I missed Honey more than ever. She’d have given me the perfect advice via a Southern metaphor about flowers or the weather, baked me some praline cookies, and made me feel like I at least had a tiny bit of guidance. Without her, I was stuck in a tar pit of self-doubt.
I spent all of Sunday distracting myself with important chores like sorting through old nail polishes and untangling charging cables. If nothing else, Blue Bell was entertained.
Monday was spent getting ready for work. I had to put more effort in than normal because it was Halloween, and we were encouraged to go all out. I didn’t mind because a Halloween costume was one of the few things in my life that didn’t require thought. One of the great things about relocating frequently was not having to come up with a new costume. I had an epic Harley Quinn costume that I reused every year with no one the wiser.
Halloween at the club would be insane, though it helped that it fell on a Monday. Every employee was slated to work, so tip share was divided among more people, but we’d still make more than usual. People were always more generous on fun holidays like Halloween.