Page 70 of Ruthless Salvation
I began to pace, hoping to burn off some of the frustration eating my insides. Storm wisely remained silent. I could feel her wide, childlike eyes following me across the room. My raging emotions desperately fought to lash out, but I kept them in check. Barely.
I needed to address this with a level head, or I’d be no better than my cousin.
Stormy wasn’t the deceptive type. My gut vehemently denied the insinuation that she might be out to hurt our family. The problem was that I’d been burned by people before, which made me question my judgment. I didn’t want to believe my instincts could be so well deceived after all these years. Had I been completely wrong about her?
My anger sprouted scaly black wings and begged to be released. I yanked on its chain with a harsh command to be silent, the effort chafing away at my waning patience.
I stopped pacing and faced Storm, unable to hold back any further. “Who the fuck are you?”
Three seconds.
Three seconds was all it took to know I’d been wrong. About her. About everything. Because in three second’s time, Storm didn’t wither in response to my attack. She didn’t look at me for understanding as confusion set in, and she certainly didn’t drop her gaze beneath the weight of embarrassment after being caught. Instead, the spirited Southern spitfire across from me steeled her spine and lifted her chin defiantly.
“You know who I am,” she said evenly.
“No, I thought I did. Turns out, I was wrong. I don’t even know your fucking name.”
“You know everything that’s relevant. If that’s not enough—” She stood, but I stopped her in her tracks, squaring my shoulders with hers.
“You think having an abusive ex isn’t relevant?” I was dangerously close to yelling.
Storm’s already porcelain skin drained to a ghostly white, but she didn’t cower. She remained on the offensive. “What happened in juvie that made you so angry? Why don’t you let anyone close to you except Jolly? Who is he to you?”
“This isn’t about me,” I bit through clenched teeth.
“My past is just as irrelevant as yours,” she hissed.
“Yours is very fucking relevant if someone is after you.”
“Why?” She spread her arms as wide as her injured ribs would allow. “Because you startedstalkingme and decided you had some fucked-up sense of responsibility for me? Well, let me make this clear. I don’t owe youanything, Torin Byrne. Not my body, my heart, or my truth. If there’s a monster in this room, it’s not me, it’syou. Don’t try to pretend otherwise.”
I was speechless.
Her rebuttal was so scathing that I felt seared from the inside, my skin flayed wide open.
After such an efficient decapitation, there was nothing left for me to say. No counterpoint or excuse would measure up. All I could do was scrape up my bloody bits off the floor and leave.
Present
As I watchedTorin leave the apartment, I was consumed with self-hatred. I saw my opportunity to right my wrongs, and I seized it. Leaving Torin would be better for him in the end—he and his family would be safer that way—but it shredded me all the same.
I’d never forget the look of unmitigated pain that flashed in his eyes before a chilling emptiness took over. It had almost been too much. I’d been seconds away from dropping to my knees and begging his forgiveness. Two blistering heartbeats from throwing my arms around him and assuring him it had all been a show. But I’d held strong, and I’d never been more equally proud and ashamed of myself at the same time.
Remorse thick as cooling tar blackened my conscience.
If it had been the right thing to do, why did I feel so wretched? How was I supposed to live with myself knowing I’d been so cruel?
I felt an intense need to escape before Torin returned, purely out of shame rather than a need to protect him. Tears ran like rivers down my cheeks as I walked numbly back to the bedroom. My bag was already packed. All I had to do was throw in a few miscellaneous items, get Blue Bell in his carrier, and I could disappear.
I battled against rising sobs, knowing they’d wreak havoc on my ribs, then decided I deserved the pain. I allowed the shuddering breaths to wrack my body. Melting onto the floor, I bellowed in agony, inside and out.
I screamed at the unfairness.
I threw clothing in fits of fury.
I smashed my fists on the ground to fight off the despair.
Eventually, my tantrum lost its thunder and faded into distant rumbles and bleak acceptance. Blue Bell joined me, curling up in my lap when he deemed it safe. My hair fell in a curtain around my face as I pet him. For a moment, I was able to shut out the world and pretend his gentle purring meant everything was okay. Then the front door clicked open and shut, followed by footsteps.