Page 77 of Ruthless Salvation

“Why the hell didn’t Oran bring this up in the meeting?” I snapped in no small amount of frustration and excitement.

“He’s working on something. He hasn’t told me everything, but I know he’s trying to keep it under wraps and doesn’t want his activities publicized. He may have thought you would jeopardize his plans.”

I wanted to bitch about him needing to trust us, but I bit back the angry comment, knowing it was the epitome of hypocrisy, considering I rarely trusted anyone. And after what Oran’s wife had done, I couldn’t blame him for keeping secrets.

Keir continued. “He also got a phone number. I don’t know if it’s legit, but you could start there.”

I gave one sharp shake of my head. “Don’t care about phone numbers. That’s not the kind of message I want to send.”

His chest slowly filled with a long sigh. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“It hasn’t been so long that I don’t remember what you did to the man who hurt your wife. You going to deny me the same?” I glared at him, daring him to point out that Stormy wasn’t my wife.

Smart guy kept it to himself. “What do you need?”

I stared into Keir’s eyes. It wasn’t something I did often. Not the open sort of look I was giving him now—a wordless view into my soul.

“I need to know you’ve got my back,” I told him plainly.

His expression never hinted at what lurked behind his dark stare. “My father and I have only ever come to blows once. We’ve had words and shouted and said things we shouldn’t have, but only once have our arguments gotten physical, and that was after you were arrested. I was furious that he wouldn’t do anything to get you out. He insisted it wasn’t his place—that making a move would have gone against your father’s wishes, and he didn’t have the right. I lost it and swung at him. I was twenty and thought I could take him, but Pop had me in a chokehold faster than I imagined possible.” He paused, a flash of emotion hardening his features. “I had your back then, and I have it now. Never doubt that.”

I held out my hand, unable to conjure any words. We clasped wrists in a show of solidarity that shook me to my core.

“I didn’t know.” That was all I could muster.

“Now you do.” He tipped his chin. “I have Stormy covered. Call if you need me.”

I nodded back. “I won’t forget this.”

“I’d kick your ass if you did.” His casual reply hinted at a challenge.

“You could try…” I smirked and walked away, relieved to know we were all good.

Present

A closing doorwas a metaphor for so many different things, but in this case, watching the door shut behind Torin carried a genuine risk of death. The voice in my head was screaming at him not to leave. I didn’t even know what he was up to, but I knew it involved Damyon, and that would always be dangerous.

I would never want anyone to end up hurt because of me.

But this was a different sort of fear—a suffocating foreboding that threatened to capsize my entire ship. If Damyon hurt Torin, I’d never forgive myself. Just the thought had my heart wrung so tight it had already begun to bleed. I could hear the drips echoing in my ears.

Desperation sank its barbed claws into me and begged me to stop him, but I refused. I had to. I’d told Torin I trusted him and had to stand by that. I had to trust that he would come back to me.

If I’d had any doubts about my feelings for him, the intensity of my fear dashed them away. I cared deeply for Torin. I’d thought I’d loved Damyon, but how could you love an illusion? I’d only ever seen the mask he wore to disguise his rotten soul. Torin wasn’t like that at all. He was the opposite—a coarse, offensive exterior meant to deflect people so they couldn’t see the generous, loving man he was underneath.

And now he’d gone to war for me.

Whatever happened to him would all be because of me.

The emotional burden was so exhausting that I could barely eat and excused myself to bed early. Rowan was endlessly patient, but I needed to be alone. My tears needed a pillow to call home.

I had just turned off the bedside lamp when my door quietly opened and closed.

“It’s me,” Rowan said as she crossed the room. She didn’t ask if she could join me; she simply curled up behind me and hugged my body into hers. I hadn’t realized how much I needed her comfort until she was there, and silent tears finally poured from my eyes.

We lay still in the darkness for several long minutes.

“I saw him, you know. Damyon,” she whispered after a while. “I can understand why you’re scared.”