Page 133 of A Foster Fling
“He wouldn’t want you beating yourself over something you didn’t intend to happen and that you can’t change. It’s done. They’re gone, but the kids he has now? You can help them.”
“I can’t do it.” I shake my head and sink further into the plush bedding. “Cae would never forgive me.”
“He already has.” He shakes his head back and moves closer on the side of the bed where he’d sunk down earlier. “Sayler he will never find himself angry with you or otherwise. He loves you as you are, and as you grow. I may envy the connection you two have, but I see it and I know it’s real. I may have wanted to be a part of it but I also understand I could never change it or be the same.” He swallows slow, the marred skin on his face pulling tight. “He knows this is weighing on you. You’ve got a trail a mile wide behind you even if you think you keep it off the ground. He just won’t push you to fix it.”
“But you will.”
“I always have.” He stands to move to the end of the bed. “So you’re going to stay right here until you come to terms with that. When you’ve decided to slay your beast, we’ll go together.”
The tightness in my throat prevents me from arguing any point at all. He leaves on a wave of silence the door swishing behind him. I lie letting a thousand what ifs bombard me. I lie picturing where life would go if Waif had never come back. I lie molding myself into who I need to be to take on my demon.
Three weeks later, I’m ready to destroy it.
Chapter Ten
WANT FOR SWEET DREAMS, ALL THAT YOU’D LIKE. HE’LL STILL REIGN WITH TERROR, EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
“For a dead man, you sure have a nice ride.” Caerus sucks his teeth in the back seat, eyeing Waif with suspicion.
For three weeks Waif battled with me to do this and for three weeks I broke him down on bringing Cae with us. He wanted to use him against me? Then he was coming along. He had just as big a dog in this fight and I wanted us to do this together. All of us.
Waif may have felt like we abandoned him and kept him out of our so called family on purpose, but the fact was we just didn’t think he’d want any part of us. We were scarred beyond imagination and assumed we were throwaways meant only for each other. Had we realized sooner that he wanted us…things might not be much different. But I think we would have felt more whole all this time.
“I’m a bounty hunter. It pays well.”
“You work with the Wraith, don’t you?” Cae asks and I never even considered it could be a possibility.
“Sort of. We haven’t met up in several years but he helped me get my certifications and set me up with my first few bounties. He’s pretty cinched up. The time he spent with us was an odd occurrence from what I hear. He’s usually very detached and keeps away from any victims attached to his cases. I’m not sure what was different with us.”
“How-uh-how is he?” I force myself to ask.
Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m not sure I deserve to. I somehow feel as though I’ve abandoned him. He did more for me than I ever thought and I probably won’t be able to thank him in this lifetime.
“Here.” Waif lifts in the driver’s seat to pull out his phone, unlocking it with his thumb he hands it to me. “Open the photos.”
Not sure what I’ll be looking at I’m shocked when I see a photo of Cae and me on my birthday a few months ago, not even ten feet away Waif sits at a table watching us with a matching smile as we laugh about who knows what. Even cloaked in shadows and without us knowing he was there, he looked like he belonged with us. I smile at the picture and pass it back to Cae much to Waif’s protest.
“Wow. With that gorgeous mug I can’t believe we didn’t notice you.” Cae laughs and hands the phone back. “Who took the picture though?”
“Wraith did you walnut.” Waif growls and snatches the phone tucking it back into his pocket. “Like I said, we’ve been different. He’s kept tabs. Let’s me know when there might be trouble. I asked him to help keep you guys in the sunshine where you belong and he listened. He knew I was following you a little too closely and tried to show me it wouldn’t be so bad if I just gave in and went to you.”
“So why didn’t you? I thought you were dead man. And, by the way, the bitch down at records could have told me you were alive instead of treating me like a whack job when I went looking for your gravesite.” Cae thumps back in the seat.
“You did that?” I turn to look at him in surprise and he waves me off.
“Well, I’m not dead. So for her, youwerea whack job.”
“I didn’t know you did that.”Why hadn’t I done that? “We’ve never even looked for or visited them.” The kids I killed.
“Nothing is stopping us now, Lyst. We’ll visit them all and they’ll strike us with lightning for taking so damn long, and then Waif and I will explain that it’s all your fault and they’ll make all your hair turn white then fall out in one go.” He sighs with reverence. “It’s gonna be transcendent.”
“Fuck Cae, are you always such a dick?” Waif asks and glances at me to see if I’m okay.
When he sees the grin on my face he settles back into his seat and adjusts his hands on the wheel.
“He’s grown a sense of humor but there’s something wrong with it.” I chuckle.
“You seem happier. Clearer.” Waif says to Cae in the rearview. “How would you say you’re doing?”