Page 40 of A Foster Fling

I roll over, reaching down to the floor to grab a dirty shirt to clean myself off. Tossing the shirt aside, I lie down and close my eyes, suddenly feeling the effects of my many sleepless nights. I didn’t think I’d fall asleep for at least two more days. Usually a week is the max before my body finally caves.

It doesn’t take long before I fall asleep; thoughts of Cole and what I want to do with him in my head.

Chapter Fourteen

Cole

It’s been two days since the kitchen. Two days since I’ve seen Liam. It really shouldn’t bother me, but it does and I don’t know why. What he did is all I can think about. I’ve jerked off six times since and nothing is touching the surface. Nothing will compare to what he made me feel. I need a release that no one can give me except him it seems.

“Did he leave? Like,” Derek pauses, inhaling, then on exhale continues, “don’t those kids run away from foster homes all the time?”

I laugh. “Stereotyping.”

“Whatever,” he shrugs. Derek passes me the joint he just rolled, blowing smoke from his lungs. This is our third joint of the night and my fourth shot of Calvert. Needless to say, I’m feeling the side effects.

I almost didn’t come tonight because I didn’t want to be around people, but I was out of liquor and had nothing better to do. When Derek asked if I still wanted to party, I all but jumped at the opportunity to leave the house. There are a few kids from school and a few others I’ve never seen before.

“So, do we like the dude? Are y’all gonna fuck now? What’s the deal?” Derek asks, watching Abby grind on his lap as she gives him his own personal show. She’s had a crush on him for a while now from what Derek’s heard, so he’s taking her up on whatever she gives.

“Fuck if I know,” I laugh, taking another shot. I’ve had enough that the burn of it isn’t as strong as it should be. Each shot I take goes down smoother than the one before. “Gonna step out for a sec.”

When I stand up, I have to catch myself on the arm of the couch as I sway, my head floating from too much abuse. Walking through the house, I head out back and take an empty chair next to the burning fire pit. The flames warm my skin even more than the humid air does. A thin layer of sweat forms on my chest, causing beads to roll down my stomach. Taking off my shirt, I drop it on the ground and lean back, looking up at the night sky.

I wonder if heaven exists and if Gabe made it there. A smile creeps across my face as the thought of him being rejected for all his sins comes into my head. Doubtful, but still. Gabe was a good kid. I just really wish we knewwhy. To give a reason to what he did. It might not have lessened the pain of it any, but we wouldn’t be sitting here with so many unanswered questions. He didn’t leave a note when he killed himself. He didn’t say goodbye. I guess he just didn’t love us enough to stay.

Dr. Webber says that a lot of time, unknown causes of suicide make grieving harder and it leaves you feeling lost and unloved. His advice a lot of time pisses me off, because what does he know about grief? I’ve asked him before if he’s ever lost a loved one to suicide and he said no, he hasn’t lost a loved one at all, not yet anyways.

He’s lucky.

Losing someone who is supposed to be around forever with you tears your entire life into pieces. It makes you question who you’re supposed to be without them. I was so young when he died, I barely knew who I was anyways, but I knew I was his brother and I loved being it, even if he did make me feel like a bother most of the time.

I take a deep breath and sigh. This is the first time I’ve thought so deeply about Gabe since Liam showed up. He’s crossed my mind a few times, but not as much as before. It makes me wonder if being around Liam is such a bad thing.

“Hey.”

I blink a few times to focus my vision as I look to see who’s there. It’s the kid from my party, the one who said I assaulted him. “Yeah?”

“You look lonely.”

“I’m not.”

He chuckles. “Mind if I sit?”

“I do, actually.”

“Oh,” he whispers. “Look, about that night. I’m sorry for what I said. It scared me and I didn’t know how to react or—”

“Don’t even sweat it,” I tell him, lying my head back on the chair again.

I try to close my eyes, but his legs brush against mine as he steps closer, leaning forward to gain my attention again. “Can I make it up to you?”

I smirk, sit up, and place my hands on the back of his knees. “Sit.”

If he’s going to offer, I’m not passing it up. Maybe this will take my mind off Liam or maybe it won’t. All I know is I need a distraction and he’s the perfect fit. Pulling him into my lap, he straddles me, looking like a hopeful little puppy who’s about to get a treat for doing the trick right.

It feels wrong kissing him for some reason. Maybe it’s because of what happened between us last time or maybe it’s because as his lips play with mine, I’m imaging that it’s Liam in my lap and it’shistongue I’m tasting. That it’shisbody I’m touching andhishard-on that’s poking my belly.

A low growl rumbles out of me as I deepen the kiss, squeezing his thighs as I try to keep the picture in my head of Liam with his tongue down my throat. My dick twitches when he starts to grind on me, and the image in my mind transforms from Liam kissing me, to him on his knees with my dick in his mouth.